SoINeedAName

Reply to TomCat’s Greeting (Well, Someone Had to Do It …)

Posted by SoINeedAName at 3:23 pm Politics

May 052016

Sorry about "taking cuts" – and I held off thinking you might use it – but since not, someone has to do those "Oldies but Goodes"

So …

Friday Fun – Birthday “Par-Tay” Break!

Posted by SoINeedAName at 6:56 am Politics

Apr 292016

This will be an abbreviated edition consisting of telling you why there won’t be a full edition.

There are four of us in the family who celebrate our Birthdays in April, so the relatives get together just once at the end of the month to combine them in one big “B-Day Par-Tay!” So out-of-town guests starting arriving yesterday.

And now that all the “little kids” have grown up, we’ve graduated from the “Milk & Cookies” mode …

To more enjoyable types of libations …

But unfortunately the forecast for tomorrow’s shindigs here in KCMO is not too promising for partying outside …

Living in “Tornado Alley”, we just hope it doesn’t get any worse …

But whether it’s inside or outside, the downside is that sometimes the Party can get a bit wild and out-of-hand …

And you can always count on someone breaking out their Air Guitar

Hopefully I’ll have recovered enough by next week to resume normal activities. I think a nap of the cat variety should help …

Friday Fun – A Bear + An Animal-Loving Canuck Vet = Literary History

Posted by SoINeedAName at 8:13 am Politics

Apr 222016

Who among us can’t recall fond memories of our parents reading stories to us as children of the adventures of that honey-loving bear, Winnie-the-Pooh and his many friends – or reading them on our own as we grew older? But how many of us know that Winnie was inspired by the adventures of an actual orphaned bear from the forests of Canada who made it all the way to the London Zoo?

We have Lt. Harry Colebourn, a veterinarian who emigrated from London to settle in Winnipeg, Manitoba to thank for rescuing the protagonist of our childhood literary remembrances. At the outbreak of World War I Lt. Colebourn volunteered to serve in the Canadian Army Veterinary Corps (CAVC) and was en route to a training facility at Valcartier when his train stopped at White River, Ontario.

A trapper was on the train station's platform leading a young cub on a string, whose mother he most likely had killed in the spring of 1914, in hopes of selling the orphaned bear cub to someone. And that someone turned out to be our animal-lover, Harry Colebourn. Colebourn paid the princely sum of $20 for the cub which he named “Winnie” – short for his beloved adopted home of Winnipeg.

(I have no idea what the going rate for a bear cub back in 1914 was, but according to the Canadian Bank Inflation Calculator $20 back then would be worth $423.67 in 2016. That converts to ~$333.00 USD – which seems a bit pricey to me.)

Below is Colebourn's diary entry from August 24^th, 1914 describing the transaction – I’ll transcribe it since it’s a bit hard to make out:

“Left Port Arthur, 7am, On train, bought bear, $20”

Winnie’s playfulness and gentle demeanor led her (yeah, unlike in the storybook the real-life Winnie was a female) to rapidly become the mascot for Colebourn’s Canadian cavalry regiment. She was so beloved by all that those in charge permitted her to accompany Colebourn’s regiment when they shipped out to England.

Colebourn had every intention of bringing Winnie home with him at the end of the war to settle her in the Assiniboine Park Zoo in Winnipeg, but when his regiment received orders to deploy to the front line in France, he realized the front would not be a good place for the bear, so he arranged with the London Zoo to board her for the duration of WWI.

It was there that Winnie gained fame among her many visitors as an utterly genteel ursine – so much so that the zookeeper Ernest Scales wrote that Winnie was “the only bear they ever trusted entirely” to the point he would allow children into the cage to pet the bear and ride on her back! Can you imagine that happening today?

Although now Major Colebourn frequently visited Winnie at the London Zoo while on leave, when the war ended after three years on the front line, Colebourn sadly realized that not only had the visitors made Winnie the zoo’s major attraction, but Winnie was thriving on the love and attention she was receiving from her admirers. It was clear that his original intent of bringing her home to Canada would not be in Winnie’s best interest.

Below is the Receipt Colebourn received for his “gift” of Winnie, allowing her to remain at the London Zoo until her death on May 12, 1934.

And that picture above of the boy petting Winnie is none other than the real-life Christopher Robin Milne. Christopher Robin and his father, author A. A. Milne, were frequent visitors to the London Zoo. And Christopher Robin became so fond of Winnie that he rechristened his teddy bear, bought at Harrods Department Store, from Edward Bear to Winnie-the-Pooh.

Author A. A. Milne was so inspired by the adventures, both imaginary and real, his son shared with his plush toy, Winnie-the-Pooh, that he used them to publish his first story about a boy named Christopher Robin and his stuffed bear Winnie-the-Pooh in the London Evening News on Christmas Eve in 1925. It was shortly thereafter followed by his first book in October 1926.

How the toy teddy bear got the “Pooh” name is not entirely clear. Some sources say it came from a swan named Pooh that the family encountered on a vacation. But the author’s great-granddaughter, Lindsay Mattick, contends it was the sound Christopher Robin would make when he blew feathers of his pet swan (his own pet swan, name unknown but NOT the one they visited) off his clothes.

That seems to have some credence because in the first chapter Milne wrote about the bear’s name:

"But his arms were so stiff … they stayed up straight in the air for more than a week, and whenever a fly came and settled on his nose he had to blow it off. And I think – but I am not sure – that that is why he is always called Pooh."

Not only did a real little boy and his beloved plush toy bear become Winnie-the-Pooh and Christopher Robin, but most of the story locations are also inspired by real places. The Hundred Acre Wood, Roo’s Sandpit, Poohsticks Bridget are fictionalized names of real places in the Ashdown Forrest in Sussex, England where Milne bought a country home in 1925. For instance, the Hundred Acre Wood is really the Five Hundred Acre Wood and Galleon’s Leap is really Gill’s Lap.

And you can also see almost all of the real plush toys that Christopher Robin played with that inspired the actual characters in the books at the New York Public Library. All except for Roo, Christopher Robin lost his Roo plush in the thirties.

You would think that Christopher Robin Milne would be grateful for all the good fortune that came from having such a famous and beloved author-father – but you would be wrong. As an adult he wrote:

"It seemed to me almost that my father had got where he was by climbing on my infant shoulders, that he had filched from me my good name and left me nothing but empty fame".

Unlike Christopher Robin, we have long celebrated his father’s literary skills. His books have been translated into over fifty languages, including Latin. In fact the Latin translation – “WINNIE ILLE PU” – is believed to be the only foreign language book (but certainly the only book written in Latin) to have ever earned a spot on The New York Times bestseller list.

When Disney purchased the movie rights in 1961, Winnie-the-Pooh lost her hyphens and morphed into what many of us may be most familiar with as “Winnie the Pooh”.

But however you remember him (or her) – as the original Winnie-the-Pooh or today’s Winnie the Pooh – we can thank Harry Colebourn, an animal-loving veterinarian from Winnipeg who was willing to share his adopted gentle giant with the London Zoo where she won the affection of a little boy and his re-christened teddy bear, and then inspiring stories that still entertain millions.

So I leave you with some of Pooh’s wisest and best loved words:

“If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.”

“It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like ‘What about lunch?’”

“People say nothing is impossible … but I do nothing every day.”

“I'm not lost for I know where I am. But, however, where I am may be lost.”

“Some people talk to animals. Not many listen though. That's the problem.”

RESOURCES

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Winnipeg_(bear)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_Colebourn

http://hereandnow.wbur.org/2015/11/04/true-story-of-pooh

http://www.theguardian.com/childrens-books-site/gallery/2015/nov/24/winnie-the-pooh-inspired-by-a-real-bear

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2582557/100-year-old-photographs-Winnipeg-original-Winnie-Pooh.html

http://mentalfloss.com/article/22987/quick-10-winnie-pooh-particulars

http://www.nytimes.com/1984/11/18/books/winnie-ille-pu-nearly-xxv-years-later.html

Friday Fun – Fun Job: Goat Cuddler. I “Kid” You Not!

Posted by SoINeedAName at 8:36 am Politics

Apr 152016

There are few things as cute as a baby goat (kid) …

In southern Virginia, February’s kidding season at Caromont Farm (a goat cheese farm a few miles south of the University of Virginia) has usually been a harrowing, hectic time for owner Gail Hobbs-Page and her employees when her baby goats run wild and her staff is run ragged.

But this year, Gail, an accomplished chef for decades who transitioned to goat farmer in 2007, took the advice of her staff and decided to use social media to enlist the aid of volunteers who signed up for four-hour stints helping to keep almost 100 new baby goats (kids) warm, dry, clean and fed. Within a day the local NBC affiliate had a feature, and within two days the Washington Post ran a story on the “Goat Cuddlers”.

Gail, who is devoted to local agribusiness farming, was dubious about her staff’s suggestion of using the Caromon Farm’s Facebook page – but joyously overwhelmed when she had over 2,000 requests from people as far north as Quebec and far west as California! And all seventy-two of the four-hour slots were snapped up by young and old in just three days! People are already requesting the opportunity to cuddle and snuggle with the goats during next year’s kidding season.

“Every year we work our butts off with these baby goats, and everyone gets a little run-down,” says Gail Hobbs-Page, who started the farm in 2007. “I guess I really didn’t know how news works now,” says Hobbs-Page. “This—going viral—was never our intention. The phone is ringing off the hook.”

“What I tapped into is some sort of need that people have to connect…to connect with something so innocent as a baby goat, and to connect with where their food comes from.”

http://modernfarmer.com/2016/01/goat-snuggles/

Gail explained that having the volunteers work at keeping the kids warm, dry and fed was critical not only for their well-being, but also "When they become milkers for the cheese operation, they're easier to handle. If we didn't do this on some level, you couldn't get your hands on them. They'd just run away."

Caromont is a 120-goat farm that makes some 30,000 pounds of goat cheese each year to distribute up and down the east coast, as well as hosting gourmet dinners featuring … what else?

Consistent with what Hobbs-Page feels is her devotion to responsible, artisanal farming she does not use any GMO feed, pays her help a living wage, and extensively interviews anyone she sells her goats to.

But watching the volunteers in action this year helping to tend to her “kids”, Gail observed, "I'm not quite sure they need the cuddling as much as the people need to cuddle."

Friday Fun … NOT – Taxes :-(

Posted by SoINeedAName at 8:39 am Politics

Apr 082016

Well, there will be no full-fledged, formal “Friday Fun” – and that’s because I’m scheduled to meet with my tax guy today. And even though I’ve been working hard, I’m running late – and he thinks I’ve been making excuses and has gotten so impatient with my delays …

To the point that now I’ve had to reschedule and meet with the Junior partner – who also is rather impatient with me …

And yet early every morning I start the day with the best intentions of getting them done …

But I could always see the storm clouds forming …

And facing all that paperwork only served to make me angrier in trying to finish them up …

Frustrated? I’m pretty much ready to throw in the towel and surrender to the IRS …

So I can FINALLY get to do my happy dance …

Friday Fun – “Houston, We Have A Problem”

Posted by SoINeedAName at 10:07 am Politics

Apr 012016

Dateline – April 1, 2016

Johnson Space Center

April Holliday Newswire

NASA engineers at the Johnson Space Center in Houston, TX are stunned and livid after learning that Republicans in the Texas state legislature yesterday passed, against unanimous Democratic opposition, a law that redefines the value of pi (π), a mathematical constant used extensively in the aerospace industry, as well as many other industries and educational centers.

The bill changes the value of pi from its widely accepted and commonly used value of 3.14159 to what its supporters contend is its true “Biblical” value of exactly three (3.00000). It was introduced without fanfare by a staunch Ted Cruz supporter, Sen. Iza Lou Zerr (R-Denton).

A letter campaign and an online-petition sponsored by the evangelical fundamentalist group “Let’s Get Back to the Bible” proved to be the difference in the bill’s rapid gain of right-wing support. The group’s Chairperson (who is also affiliated with a well-known White Supremacist organization) Rachel N. Tolerence, voiced her delight. “We need more laws that recognize the Bible as our sole source for guidance in all things – and that include math!”

Republican Governor, Greg Abbott, reported he will gladly sign it into law on Friday, April 1, 2016, saying, “We all should always believe that what’s in the Bible is the Gospel truth. After all, this isn’t rocket science, you know. So pi will now be its true Biblical value of 3.00000 – at least here in Texas”

According to Johnson Space Center’s Math Division Chair, Adam Upp, pi is a Greek letter derived from Euclidean geometry that signifies the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter and is frequently used by engineers to project rocket trajectories as well as many other calculations.

In utter shock, U. of Texas Electrical Engineering Professor, Alec Tricity, added that pi is a universal constant, and cannot arbitrarily be changed by lawmakers on a whim.

When informed of the legally mandated change in pi to a “Biblical” value of 3.0000, University of Texas Physics Professor Shirley U. Geste exclaimed, “You’ve got to be kidding me!”

Prof. Geste further explained that pi is an irrational number, which means that it has an infinite number of digits after the decimal point and can never be known exactly – and could never be rounded off to the even number of 3.0000.

Rep. Joe Kur (R-Plano) countered with "I think that it is the mathematicians that are being irrational. The Bible very clearly says in I Kings 7:23 that the altar font of Solomon's Temple was ten cubits in diameter and thirty cubits in circumference, and that it was round in compass. And that’s how one gets the true Biblical 3.0000 value for pi. It’s straight from scriptures!"

The law took the state's professionally trained scientific, mathematical and engineering communities by total surprise. “There was absolutely no warning at all this was about to happen,” Oliver Suddin, Chief Aerospace Engineer at the Johnson Space Center said.

Sen. Howard I. Nowe (R-Arlington), a co-sponsor of the bill, called into question the usefulness of any number that cannot be calculated exactly, and suggested that never knowing the precise value would harm students' self-esteem. "We need to return to some absolute values based on the Bible in our society," he said. “The Bible does not say that the font was ‘thirty-something’ cubits. It clearly says thirty cubits. Period. End. Full stop!"

Professionals from the education community are concerned that the legislation will adversely affect the way math is taught to children in Texas, a leading force in dictating how school books are written.

But one member of the Texas State School Board who is a strong supporter of home schooling based on “Christian values”, Lois Dee Nominator, is anxious to get the new value of pi into Texas’ math textbooks.

She would, however, consider a compromise allowing the non-Biblical value of 3.14159 based on actual math and scientific principles be retained as an alternative saying, "As far as I am concerned, the value of pi is only a theory, and we should be open to all interpretations." She looks forward to students having the freedom to decide for themselves what value pi should have.

Many experts are warning that this is just the beginning of a national battle over the value of pi between faith-based supporters and professionals in the education and scientific communities. “Let’s Get Back to the Bible” member Malcolm Tent agrees: "We’re ready to do battle. We just want to return pi to its true and Biblical value," he said. "And this, according to scriptures, is just plain old three – 3.00000. Can I hear an Amen on that?"

NOTE: Thanks to physicist Mark Boslough for his classic April Fool’s Day Hoax back in 1998, which can be read in its original format using Alabama as its foil HERE.

This Puddy Tat Wishes You a “Happy Easter!”

Posted by SoINeedAName at 5:40 am Politics

Mar 272016

Say "HELLO!" to the Puddy Tat who just can't wait to put on her Easter "Bunnet" …

I want to share my uncle K’s favorite Easter “story”. And since our family is mostly Scandinavian, it involves three dumb Swedes. (We're not sure there are any other kind.)

Despite the fact that uncle K is a retired Lutheran minister and a huge fan of Garrison Keillor, if you’re deeply religious and easily offended by “edgy” religious humor – read no further!

There were three Swedish friends from Minnesota who were tragically killed in an awful snowmobile accident. St. Peter welcomed them at the Pearly Gates – but told them that before he could let them into Heaven they had to pass a short quiz. Being Swedish, this made them very nervous.

St. Peter assured them that it was a very easy quiz: “All you need to do is tell me about the story of Easter.”

Lars, the bravest (but dumbest Swede), stepped forward and said, “That’s too easy. Easter is in the fall when the leaves are changing to beautiful colors, and you get together with your family and friends to be thankful while you enjoy a huge feast of turkey and stuffing and sweet potatoes and cranberries and pumpkin pie.”

St. Peter, shaking his head in disappointment, told him, “Sorry – but that’s not correct” … and zapped him straight to Hell.

Hilmer, the second Swede, stepped up and answered, “You have to forgive him, St. Peter – Lars is just a dumb Swede. Easter is in the winter when you celebrate a very important religious holiday by decorating an evergreen tree in your home, drinking eggnog and giving beautifully wrapped presents to your friends and family.”

St. Peter again replied, “Sorry – but that also is not correct” … and zapped him straight to Hell.

Kai, the third Swede stepped up and said, “Please forgive Hilmer, St. Peter – although he was correct that it’s a very important religious holiday. But it happens in spring. It is when Jesus was crucified on the cross. And after He died, he was buried in a large tomb called a sepulcher. They then rolled a huge stone in front of the tomb’s opening to seal it.

“But on the third day, Jesus miraculously arose …

“He rolled back the huge stone …

“Stepped outside …

“Saw his shadow …

“And knew there’d be six more weeks of winter.”

Friday Fun – Happy Peepster! (It’s YUUUGE!)

Posted by SoINeedAName at 8:19 am Politics

Mar 252016

[NOTE: Sorry – it's a particularly long one]

This year marks the Washington Post’s Tenth Anniversary of its “Peeps Diorama Contest” – which always occurs the week before Easter. So let’s take a delightful trip down memory lane, while learning some new Friday Fun Facts.

When I started doing my background research for “Friday Fun” I decided that learning about Peeps was actually more interesting. We’ll get to the contest, but the first question that needed answering was which came first – the Marshmallow or the Peeps?

Or how do we get from here …

Peeps_Born_02 – to –

Going back to the very beginning, it all started in 1953 when Sam Born bought the Rodda Candy Company in Lancaster, PA.

Mr. Born was born and raised in Russia, but moved to America in 1910. He settled in New York City where he made handcrafted chocolate confections and founded his candy company, Just Born.

Born was an inventive soul who was actually awarded by San Francisco the “Key to the City” for his invention of the process to insert sticks into lollipops.

He bought the Rodda Candy Company primarily for their jelly beans – but serendipitously learned that they made a marshmallowy treat once a year they called a Peep. It was made only at Easter time because it took them TWENTY-SEVEN HOURS, from start-to-finish, to handcraft just ONE Peep using a pastry tube.

Apparently his son, Bob, inherited Sam’s inventive gene because Bob Born created “The Depositor” which formed the Peeps and so was able to cut the TWENTY-SEVEN HOURS down to just SIX MINUTES!

So let’s take a Step-by-Step tour of how those little Peeps are “Born”.

Step One: Mixing and Whipping

It begins when the ingredients – sugar, corn syrup, gelatin, vanilla (or other flavorings), coloring and potassium sorbate (a preservative) – are whipped into a marshmallowy goo. There’s also a soupçon of carnauba wax – but more on that in a bit.

Step Two: Coloring the Sugar Coating

In a giant culinary “cement mixer”, food coloring is sprayed by that little arm outside the barrel on to the sugar inside, and thoroughly mixed to a uniform color.

Step Three: Sugar Loaded on to Conveyor Belt

Sugar is loaded into a spreader (the gray piece in the background) by hand, and the spreader distributes the colored sugar across the conveyor belt.

Step Four: Peeps Are Made by “The Depositor”

No photos are allowed of the machinery that actually pumps the marshmallow into the various shapes. That's Bob’s Top Secret – but it has not changed much since the 1950’s. (Although there was a recent redesign in the past year or so that will expand their creative abilities.)

Step Five: Peeps Coated with Sugar in a Wind Tunnel

Freshly made Peeps, while warm, travel along the sugar-covered conveyor belt (backwards!) into a wind tunnel. Here air is blown in to whip the sugar around so that it sticks evenly to every … AND

Step Six: Recycling the Sugar

The sugar-coated candy Peeps slide off a solid conveyor belt on to a grated one that lets extra sugar fall through so it can be recycled.

Step Seven: The “Eyes are Dotted”

This machine dots the Peeps with those tiny creepy peepers, which are actually tiny dots of carnauba wax.

Carnauba wax is a non-toxic edible wax that’s also found in some shoe polishes, car waxes and many other candies. And that “Eye Dotter” machine can pump out 3,800 eyes per minute.

Step Eight: Peeps Get Packaged

The last part of their conveyor-belt ride takes the Peeps through a refrigerated area so they can firm up enough to easily fall off the conveyor belt and into boxes. Peep Chicks come five to a box, while bunnies are four per box.

FUN FACTS ABOUT PEEPS

Just Born produces almost TWO BILLION Peeps every year, an average of over 5.5 million Peeps each day.
That’s enough Peeps produced in one year to circle the earth twice.
In the late 1950’s PEEPS wings were “clipped” to give them a sleek, modern look.

PEEPS have been the #1 non-chocolate choice of Easter candy for over two decades
Yellow and white PEEPS chicks and bunnies came first, followed by pink, lavender, blue, green and orange
PEEPS are available year-round, and come in a variety of shapes celebrating different Holidays:

Easter = Bunnies, Eggs &Tulips
Halloween = Pumpkins & Ghosts
Christmas = Trees, Snowman, Reindeers, Snowflakes & Stockings
Valentines = Hearts, Teddy Bears & "I LOVE YOU"

There have been numerous new variations:

Chocolate covered PEEPS came out in 2010
Cake-flavored Peeps hit the market in 2014
They even come in a Milk form and as Lip Gloss
And they now come in multiple flavors, including strawberry, raspberry, blueberry, sweet lemonade, candy cane, and orange crème

If you stood 8,000 Peeps bunnies nose-to-tail, they would reach the top of the Willis (Sears) Tower in Chicago.
In 1999, a pair of scientists at Emory University decided to see if the Urban Legend that Peeps are truly indestructible. So they subjected them to a microwave, boiling water, acetone, and diluted sulfuric acid and sodium hydroxide. The Peeps survived them all! But when they upped the ante with some Phenol, the only things that didn’t disappear were the carnauba wax eyes – they remained!

On New Year’s Eve, Bethlehem, PA (where Just Born moved to) drops a giant PEEP, that changes through all the Peep colors during its descent, at midnight.

And amazingly enough, Peeps are NOT Just Born’s top seller! That title belongs to “Mike & Ike” (which I’ve never even heard of)!

No, I didn’t forget about the inspiration for the Peep background – Washington Post’s Peeps Diorama Contest celebrating its Tenth Anniversary!

About the only rules are all the characters must be some type of Peep; it can’t be larger than 3 feet wide by 2 feet deep by 2 feet tall; and it must be able to be carried by one person.

The 2016 Grand Prize Winner (which is selected by the WaPo staff) will receive a $500 American Express gift card. Four runner-up winners will receive a $100 American Express gift card.

There will be a Contest between the previous winners and this year’s in a Tournament of Peeps Champions. That person will receive a $200 American Express gift card.

So let’s get to the 2016 Grand Winner – but hold on to your hats, and get your Barf Bags out, because this year’s winner – in a LANDSLIDE, garnering more votes than the other 1,000+ entries combined – is none other than Herr Drumpf:

T]his satirical take on the Republican candidate’s brain — seen as a command center like the one in the 2015 Pixar film “Inside Out” — was a yuuuge winner, garnering more votes than all the other entries combined. It depicts a moment during the Aug. 6 Fox News Republican debate, as Trump is looking at moderator and nemesis Megyn Kelly.

Between the characters Fear and Disgust, an Anger Peep is poised to press a large red button, while Joy and Sadness are corralled behind a fence. Portraits of former wives Marla Maples and Ivana Trump adorn the interior, which has been trimmed in marble and gold.

Eldridge sculpted and painted the head, which was topped with blond hair extensions. “Leslie spent 12 hours staring at pictures of Trump,” Baker says. “She gave up her time and her sanity.”

But let’s visit the winner for each year leading up to the Tenth Anniversary: