Politics Plus

Today – the first Friday in June … and EVERY first Friday in June since 1938 –has been designated as “National Doughnut (or Donut) Day”!

In spite of a common misconception, it was NOT Homer Simpson who was responsible for creating this “Holey” Holiday.

Since we’re in the middle of a raucous election season, a burning historical and political question that I’ve wondered about that maybe you could answer: Was Pres. Kennedy really saying he was a popular type of donut when he famously declared, “Ich bin ein Berliner”?

So if you, like Pres. Kennedy, want to carry on the tradition of pledging yourself to donut-zealotry, today is your day – and with good historic and patriotic reason! 

It was soon after our entrance into WWI that the Salvation Army sent a fact-finding group to France to learn how they could best serve the morale needs of our soldiers.  It was their conclusion that setting up canteens called “huts” would fill the bill for helping with morale.

It soon became evident that their original hopes of providing “home-cooked meals” was beyond their scope – but two Salvation Army volunteers (Ensign Margaret Sheldon and Adjutant Helen Purviance) came up with the idea of serving doughnuts.  In fact they even sometimes would use the helmets of the soldiers to heat the oil used to fry the doughnuts.  (Yeah, I, too, wondered if that is where the term “doughboys” came from in referring to infantrymen – but "doughboys" origin has a decidedly longer history.)

There were about 250 Salvation Army volunteers on the front lines during WWI serving up the treats, and it wasn’t long before these women were referred to as “Doughnut Dollies”.  And when boosting the morale of the guys in WWII was largely taken over by the Red Cross, they too were called “Doughnut Dollies”.

But it wasn’t until the depths of the Depression in 1938 that the Chicago Salvation Army, in order to raise funds for the needy as well as to honor the women who served on the frontlines in WWI, created the first “National Doughnut/Donut Day”.

And if you’re wondering how cops are so commonly associated with donuts, there’s a good reason.  Back in the 1940s, policemen working the graveyard shift had few options for grabbing a quick bite while on their beats.  Donut stores famously start working very, very early to be ready for the morning rush – so it was convenient for cops to stop in and grab a cruller and a cup of Joe.

Some police units have embraced the tradition.  Police in the Chicago suburb of Schaumburg, Illinois climb up on the rooftop of their local Dunkin’ Donut shop every year to help raise money for the kids of Special Olympics.

And another police outfit in Michigan actually pooled their money to buy a struggling donut store, expanded it and turned it into Cops and Doughnuts.  So while you’re munching on one of their “Misdemeanor Weiners” you can buy one of their “Don’t Glaze Me, Bro” T-shirts.

If you want to get the old salivary glands a-churning, here’s a gallery from “USA Today” guaranteed to get a gourmand like you drooling.

And if you’re wanting to score a FREE DONUT, try one (or more) of these today – or maybe one from a local favorite in your neighborhood:

Dunkin’ Donuts

https://twitter.com/DunkinDonuts/status/738368858344415232?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Krispy Kreme

https://twitter.com/krispykreme/status/733655676187250688?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Giant Eagle

https://twitter.com/GiantEagle/status/738382672096067584?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Duck Donuts

https://twitter.com/DuckDonuts/status/736239756187701248?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Lamar’s Donuts

http://www.lamars.com/salvationarmy/

Oh, and whether by coincidence or design, the American Heart Association and Red Cross have designated the first week in June as “CPR Awareness Week”.

Those of us who have (or have had) hearing know what earworms are: those catchy snippets of a song or tune that loop endlessly in our heads.  Well, today’s “Friday Fun” may well implant one in your brain, but at least hopefully it will be a pleasant one.

A week ago today, Friday the 13^th, Bill Backer, the real Don Draper of “Mad Men”, passed away at the age of 89.  Backer was the creator of what has been called by Adweek “The world’s most famous ad” – Coca-Cola’s “Hilltop/I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing”.

And since that tune is now implanted as today’s earworm in your brains, you might as well go ahead and enjoy it in the remastered version …

For those of you who were “Mad Men” aficionados, you may recall the iconic final scene of the series-ending finale with Don Draper meditating (beginning ~ the 1:45 mark) while envisioning a utopian scene of a culturally diverse, youthful chorus singing about “apple trees and honeybees and snow white turtledoves” on an Italian hilltop while wanting “to buy the world a Coke and keep it company.”

But the background on how the ad actually came to be is quite a different story.

In January of 1971 Backer was flying to London to meet with his songwriting team when his flight was diverted to Ireland’s Shannon Airport because of a pea-soup thick fog engulfing London.

“[W]e were marooned in the Shannon Airport, which was not set up to handle big loads of offloaded passengers. So we were stuck in a tiny motel, sharing rooms, sleeping in the lobby, and we sat around with people from all over the world.”

At first, Backer and his fellow travelers found little to be happy about under these stressful circumstances.  But by the next day Backer was surprised to see those same unhappy, irate passengers in the airport’s restaurants and cafes laughing and sharing stories of their adventure while enjoying snacks over bottles of Coke, bound together by their common experience of being grounded.

"In that moment [I] saw a bottle of Coke in a whole new light… [I] began to see a bottle of Coca-Cola as more than a drink that refreshed a hundred million people a day in almost every corner of the globe.

So that was the basic idea: to see Coke not as it was originally designed to be — a liquid refresher — but as a tiny bit of commonality between all peoples, a universally liked formula that would help to keep them company for a few minutes."

Straight out of a movie script, he grabbed a paper napkin and scribbled: “I’d like to buy the world a Coke and keep it company.”

But when he finally reached London and shared what he had jotted down, his fellow songwriters complained: "Well, if I could do something for everybody in the world, it would NOT be to buy them a Coke.  I'd buy everyone a home first and share with them in peace and love"

Backer said, "Okay, that sounds good.  Let's write that.…”  And so was born “the world’s most famous ad”:

I’d like to buy the world a home and furnish it with love,

Grow apple trees and honey bees, and snow white turtle doves.

I’d like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony,

I’d like to buy the world a Coke and keep it company.

[Repeat the last two lines, and in the background:]

It’s the real thing … Coke is what the world wants today.

The ad first aired on radio stations on Feb. 12, 1971.  Immediately it became so popular that DJs began receiving requests to play the commercial as if it were a song.  And the Hillside Singers original recording version actually peaked at number 13 on Billboard.  Backer then had the New Seekers record a slightly different version of the song, titled “I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing (In Perfect Harmony)”, which topped out at number 7.

The Coke ad greatly exceeded its $100,000 budget – eventually costing $250,000 to create, which made it the world’s most expensive commercial ever produced to that point.  They hired five hundred people from Rome to stand on the hilltop in Manziana, Italy to lip-sync the lyrics for the aerial shot.

You may ask: “OK – I get that for many of you of a certain age it brings back pleasant memories of your youth.  That’s all interesting, but what about the Koch connection?”

Well, we can now all enjoy that Coke/Koch earworm all over again – and maybe even more so with its reincarnation as the Koch parody that I saw not so long ago!  It’s hard for me to choose which lyrics I like better – but I think I’ll go with the new Koch parody version:

I’d like to buy the Kochs a world – So they’d leave ours alone

Then go back to Park Avenue – And crawl beneath their stone

I’d like to teach the Kochs about – A true democracy

Where working class kicks corporate ass – From sea to shining sea

They’re the Evil Thing

I’d like to give the Kochs the bird – From my whole family

Just keep your phony culture war – And keep your f*cking tea

They’re the Evil Thing – Make them go away

EPILOGUE:

To honor Mr. Backer’s memory, let’s close by revisiting some of his and his team’s most memorable jingles and slogans:

“Things go better with Coke”

“Coke – it’s the real thing”

Miller Lite “Everything you ever wanted in a beer… and less”

Campbell’s brand “Soup is good food”

… And while “Little girls have pretty curls, but I like Oreos”

RESOURCES

http://www.newsweek.com/bill-backer-adman-buy-coke-mad-men-died-460978

http://www.adweek.com/news/advertising-branding/famed-adman-bill-backer-best-known-coca-colas-hilltop-dies-171534

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2016/05/17/id-like-to-buy-the-world-a-coke-the-story-behind-the-worlds-most-famous-ad-whose-creator-has-died-at-89/

http://www.coca-colacompany.com/stories/coke-lore-hilltop-story

I’m going to let the politicians do all the heavy-lifting for this week’s “Friday Fun” since I’m a bit busy getting ready to head up to Illinois to celebrate Mother’s Day with my Mom.

So let’s start things off with Carly Fiorina doing her best Three Stooges imitation with her recent plunge off a stage (she wasn’t injured) while the Cruz family pays no attention.  Well, to be fair, Heidi seems a tad concerned – but just for a second, before she gets back to the more serious task of waving to the crowd:

Given Boehner’s recent disavowal of Cruz as “Lucifer in the flesh”, some cheeky wags claimed it was the Devil pulling Snarly down to Hades.  I disagree and I don’t mean to get all “Wizardly” on you – but after studying that clip, I wonder if any of you can see some little girl in ruby-red slippers who might have thrown a bucket of water on her?

Next we’ll move to the Master – Pres. Obama at the White House Correspondents Dinner.  Fortunately someone has kindly preserved his best one-liners for us – so without further ado:

1). Next year at this time, someone else will be standing here in this very spot, and it’s anyone’s guess who she will be.

2). In just six short months, I will be officially a lame duck, which means Congress now will flat-out reject my authority. And Republican leaders won’t take my phone calls. And this is going to take some getting used to, it’s really going to — it’s a curve ball. I don’t know what to do with it.

3). And yet, somehow, despite all this, despite the churn, in my final year, my approval ratings keep going up. The last time I was this high, I was trying to decide on my major. And here’s the thing: I haven’t really done anything differently. So it’s odd. Even my aides can’t explain the rising poll numbers — what has changed, nobody can figure it out. [Slide of Cruz and Trump Shown] Puzzling …

4). A lot of folks have been surprised by the Bernie phenomenon, especially his appeal to young people. But not me, I get it. Just recently, a young person came up to me and said she was sick of politicians standing in the way of her dreams. As if we were actually going to let Malia go to Burning Man this year. That was not going to happen. Bernie might have let her go. Not us. I am hurt, though, Bernie, that you’ve distancing yourself a little from me. I mean, that’s just not something that you do to your comrade.

5). Look, I’ve said how much I admire Hillary’s toughness, her smarts, her policy chops, her experience. You’ve got to admit it, though, Hillary trying to appeal to young voters is a little bit like your relative just signed up for Facebook. “Dear America, did you get my poke?” “Is it appearing on your wall?” “I’m not sure I am using this right. Love, Aunt Hillary.” It’s not entirely persuasive.

6). Meanwhile, on the Republican side, things are a little more — how should we say this — a little “more loose.” Just look at the confusion over the invitations to tonight’s dinner. Guests were asked to check whether they wanted steak or fish, but instead, a whole bunch of you wrote in Paul Ryan. That’s not an option, people. Steak or fish. You may not like steak or fish –but that’s your choice.

7). Although I am a little hurt that he’s not here tonight. We had so much fun the last time. And it is surprising. You’ve got a room full of reporters, celebrities, cameras, and he says no? Is this dinner too tacky for The Donald? What could he possibly be doing instead? Is he at home, eating a Trump Steak tweeting out insults to Angela Merkel? What’s he doing?

8). Of course, in fact, for months now congressional Republicans have been saying there are things I cannot do in my final year. Unfortunately, this dinner was not one of them. But on everything else, it’s another story. And you know who you are, Republicans. In fact, I think we’ve got Republican Senators Tim Scott and Cory Gardner, they’re in the house, which reminds me, security, bar the doors! Judge Merrick Garland, come on out, we’re going to do this right here, right now. It’s like “The Red Wedding.”

9). But the prospect of leaving the White House is a mixed bag. You might have heard that someone jumped the White House fence last week, but I have to give Secret Service credit — they found Michelle, brought her back, she’s safe back at home now. It’s only nine more months, baby. Settle down.

10). And then there’s Ted Cruz. Ted had a tough week. He went to Indiana –- Hoosier country –- stood on a basketball court, and called the hoop a “basketball ring.” What else is in his lexicon? Baseball sticks? Football hats? But sure … I’m the foreign one.

And who will ever be able to forget his now iconic closing of “Obama out” with the mic drop.

But let’s not leave out the presumptive nominees of both parties.  I’ve heard Herr Drumpf claim that he will win the general election because he’ll get Democrats to abandon their party and crossover to vote for him as the Rethuglican nominee.

If that happens, the average IQ of BOTH parties would be greatly enhanced.

In hopes of unifying the party, Herr Drumpf has said he’s going to put Ben Carson in charge of his VP Search Committee.  Yeah, right – that should work out REALLY well ..

Lord knows your party needs LOTS of unifying.  After all, it’s been reported that not a single GOP presidential candidate since 1988 is going to show up at the convention. 

(Marco Rubio is also not going to attend.  But, hell – he doesn’t show up for anything anyway!)

Oh, and before I forget, Herr Drumpf – whether you have big hands or little hands – here’s a warning to you just in case you really, REALLY believe that Hillary Clinton is, in your words, “not tough enough” to handle the job …

Consider yourself warned!

This will be an abbreviated edition consisting of telling you why there won’t be a full edition.

There are four of us in the family who celebrate our Birthdays in April, so the relatives get together just once at the end of the month to combine them in one big “B-Day Par-Tay!”  So out-of-town guests starting arriving yesterday.

And now that all the “little kids” have grown up, we’ve graduated from the “Milk & Cookies” mode …

To more enjoyable types of libations …

But unfortunately the forecast for tomorrow’s shindigs here in KCMO is not too promising for partying outside …

Living in “Tornado Alley”, we just hope it doesn’t get any worse …

But whether it’s inside or outside, the downside is that sometimes the Party can get a bit wild and out-of-hand …

And you can always count on someone breaking out their Air Guitar

Hopefully I’ll have recovered enough by next week to resume normal activities.  I think a nap of the cat variety should help …