Politics Plus

It’s true – Twitler did brag that …

“I went to an Ivy League school. I’m very highly educated.

“I know words — I have the best words.”

http://time.com/4426705/donald-trump-treason-dictionary/

And because of that, I get another week to work on “The Project”.

Having spent summers as a kid, plus a year-and-a-half after residency (while one of my uncles bravely battled cancer) on the family farm, one learns to “Make hay while the sun shines.”

So when Twitler chalked up one more of his achomlishments by handing us another spelling gift, I decided to run with it.

Probably no typo/neologism of his has left more of a culture impact than last May 31, middle-of-the-night Tweet that began and ended “Despite the constant negative press covfefe.”

But yesterday after his choreographed temper tantrum with Speaker Pelosi and Sen. Schumer then storming out to his pre-planned “spontaneous” press conference carrying his handwritten notes, we were treated to a twofer: ACHOMLISHMENTS & INTENTIALLY (he tends to capitalize ad lib).

So Twitter wasn’t going to let this pass by without weighing in – so let’s enjoy a few of them!

It all started when Dan Eggen spotted a WaPo photo of Twitler’s notes, and noticed the spelling errors.

Trump notes captured by @jabinbotsford:
“They want to impeach me over acts that they did”
“Dems have no achomlishments [sic]”https://t.co/WUGczy4y2c pic.twitter.com/ealXzJEFJM

— Dan Eggen (@DanEggenWPost) May 22, 2019

His spelling was so egregious even Spellcheck wasn’t able to help:

Even spell check is like ¯_(ツ)_/¯ pic.twitter.com/fGRUOwUn83

— Elizabeth Randol (@RandolElizabeth) May 23, 2019

So in lieu of a regular Presidential Debate, someone suggested a Spelling Bee:

The next presidential debate should just be a spelling bee. #achomlishments

— Marguerite Degnan (@Stargazer212) May 23, 2019

And my favorite:

pic.twitter.com/FZqLN2DA9b

— Acyn Torabi (@Acyn) May 23, 2019

But there have been so many – I mean who can forget his feeding mammoth numbers of “Hamberders” to the Clemson Tigers?  And Trump has also referred to the plane as “Air Force Once,” hoped for “lasting peach” in the Middle East, bragged that his presidency was “enormously consensual,” called the Marine Corps “the Marine Core,” hoped that those suffering in Texas after Hurricane Harvey would be “heeling”, and called an act by China “unpresidented.”

But there really are too many to count: “WH council” “tapp my phones” “no challenge is to great” “attaker” “San Bernadino” “Demakr” “I hear by demand a second investigation” … and MORE.  All these quotes are from our “extremely stable genius”.

Makes you proud to be an American, doesn’t it?

But to hone your skills at spotting his numerous spelling and grammar gaffes, how about a little practice?  (We know how nervous Twitler would react if I said “Test” – so I’m going with “practice”.)

Some are easy-peasy and some are pretty tough.  There can be more than one in each post.  Some will be actual Tweets and some have to be photos because one of his aides corrected it, so it’s no longer available.

I’ll post the answers tomorrow to give you plenty of time.

“Democrats can’t find a Smocking Gun tying the Trump campaign to Russia after James Comey’s testimony. No Smocking Gun…No Collusion.” @FoxNews That’s because there was NO COLLUSION. So now the Dems go to a simple private transaction, wrongly call it a campaign contribution,…

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) December 10, 2018

Disgraced and discredited Bob Mueller and his whole group of Angry Democrat Thugs spent over 30 hours with the White House Councel, only with my approval, for purposes of transparency. Anybody needing that much time when they know there is no Russian Collusion is just someone….

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 20, 2018

…despite already having signed a detailed letter admitting that there was no affair. Prior to its violation by Ms. Clifford and her attorney, this was a private agreement. Money from the campaign, or campaign contributions, played no roll in this transaction.

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 3, 2018

Ted Cruz is totally unelectable, if he even gets to run (born in Canada). Will loose big to Hillary. Polls show I beat Hillary easily! WIN!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 31, 2016

 

….children from parents, as did Bush etc., because that is the policy and law. I tried to keep them together but the problem is, when you do that, vast numbers of additional people storm the Border. So with Obama seperation is fine, but with Trump it’s not. Fake 60 Minutes!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) November 26, 2018

 

Absolutely no one was spared …

Not even his own Official Inaugural Poster got a proofreading:

 

Talk about being “Dumb as a rock …”

I’m sure we’ve all been amazed by the phenomenal success of James Holzhauer on Jeopardy.  His 22-game winning streak has now netted him more than $1.6 MILLION!  We’ll see how he does when the show resumes on May 20^th.  He’s certainly earned his Jeopardy Hall of Fame status!

But he hasn’t gotten ALL right answers (or actually “Questions”) ALL the time.  So I thought it be fun to give you the chance to test your knowledge with the stumpers that James missed.

NO CHEATING NOW!

QUESTIONS

[But as we all know, they’re actually formatted as “Answers”]

(The first line is the Category name that Jeopardy used)

[1] We Will Rock You:

In 2018 this band “didn’t have a dime but I always had a vision, always had high, high hopes.”

 

[2] American History:

A 1975 N.Y. Daily News headline after this man opposed a federal bailout: “To City: Drop Dead.”

 

[3] Phrase Origins:

19th-century exhibitions saw fire brigades competing either using water, or in one of these, now a term for a practice effort.

 

[4] American History:

On June 1, 1660, Mary Dyer, one of this religious sect’s “Boston martyrs,” was hanged on Boston Common.

 

[5] The First Winner:

In 1903 Maurice Garin was its first winner in 94 hours, 33 minutes, 14 seconds.

 

[6] Holidays and Observances:

Constitution Day is September 17; this related set is celebrated every December 15.

 

[7] Route ’66:

Modern auto safety took a big step in 1966 as LBJ signed bills mandating seat belts and rupture-resistant these.

 

[8] Monet-Punny:

A common sight was walking around Monet, who worked outdoors, as in a cliff walk in this Channel-side French region.

 

[9] Don’t Tread on Meme:

A 2016 interview with this Batman actor found him looking sad; the internet then made him the meme we deserve.

 

[10] Ballet:

The creators of 1943’s “Fancy Free” called each other Lenny & Jerry — Leonard Bernstein and this choreographer.

 

[11] Let’s Go to the Wildlife Refuge:

More than 5,000 of these big deer spend winters at the Wyoming national refuge named for them.

 

[12] Journalists:

Often called the first “war” one of these, Crimean war reporter William Howard Russell preferred “special” one.

 

[13] American Poetry:

Frank O’Hara’s most famous poem is “The Day Lady Died,” in which he reads about this jazz singer’s death in 1959.

 

[14] The Civil War:

On July 21, 1861, the Union attacked the Confederates near a stone bridge crossing this creek in the first battle of it.

 

[15] Music Festivals:

At the Montreux Jazz Festival, you might see smoke on the water of this Swiss lake’s shoreline.

 

[16] Science Central:

In 1916, the great chemist Gilbert Lewis called the central part of an atom this, a word we use for the seed of an apricot pit.

 

[17] Movies in the DirectTV Guide:

“Two hit men, a boxer, a crime boss, and others meet their fates over the course of two days.”

 

[18] Greek Cuisine:

Made in the Vytina region, the first type of this sweetener does not crystallize.

 

[19] Crazy Weather We’re Having!:

In 2013 there were 114-degree temps in La Rioja, the wine belt of this South American country.

 

[20] Breaks and Livers:

The portal vein brings venous blood to the liver, while this artery brings oxygenated arterial blood.

 

[21] The Franklin Institute:

Beethoven & Mozart wrote for this instrument that Ben Franklin created, which he said gave him the greatest personal satisfaction of all his inventions

 

[22] Press Your Luck:

Permanent press is a process where fabric gets chemically treated to make it resistant to these.

 

[23 Final Jeopardy:

This inductee into the Video Hall of Fame sold 17 million copies of a video cassette she released in 1982.

 

To break up the Q&A sections, how about a few photos of cute cats proving that they can sleep anywhere and in any position?

 

ANSWERS

[But as we all know, they’re actually formatted as “Questions”]

 

[1] We Will Rock You:

Holzhauer’s guess: Fall Out Boy

Answer: Panic! At the Disco

 

[2] American History:

Holzhauer’s guess: Ed Koch

Answer: Gerald Ford

 

[3] Phrase Origins:

Holzhauer’s guess: A skirmish

Answer: Dry run

 

[4] American History:

Holzhauer’s guess: The Puritans

Answer: The Quakers

 

[5] The First Winner:

Holzhauer’s guess: Paris to Dakur

Answer: Tour de France

 

[6] Holidays and Observances:

Holzhauer’s guess: The Articles of Confederation

Answer: Bill of Rights

 

[7] Route ’66:

Holzhauer’s guess: Airbags

Answer: Fuel tanks

 

[8] Monet-Punny:

Holzhauer’s guess: Brittany

Answer: Normandy

 

[9] Don’t Tread on Meme:

Holzhauer’s guess: Christian Bale

Answer: Ben Affleck

 

[10] Ballet:

Holzhauer’s guess: Herman

Answer: Jerome Robbins

 

[11] Let’s Go to the Wildlife Refuge:

Holzhauer’s guess: Moose

Answer: Elk

 

[12] Journalists:

Holzhauer’s guess: Photographer

Answer: Correspondent

 

[13] American Poetry:

Holzhauer’s guess: Ella Fitzgerald

Answer: Billie Holiday

 

[14] The Civil War:

Holzhauer’s guess: The Manassas

Answer: First Battle of Bull Run

 

[15] Music Festivals:

Holzhauer’s guess: Lucerne

Answer: Lake Geneva

 

[16] Science Central:

Holzhauer’s guess: The stone

Answer: Kernel

 

[17] Movies in the DirectTV Guide:

Holzhauer’s guess: “Snatch.”

Answer: “Pulp Fiction”

 

[18] Greek Cuisine:

Holzhauer’s guess: Sugar

Answer: Honey

 

[19] Crazy Weather We’re Having!:

Holzhauer’s guess: Chile

Answer: Argentina

 

[20] Breaks and Livers:

Holzhauer’s guess: Pulmonary

Answer: Hepatic

 

[21] The Franklin Institute:

Holzhauer’s guess: Glass flute

Answer: Glass harmonica

 

[22] Press your luck:

Holzhauer’s guess: Stains

Answer: Wrinkles

 

[23 Final Jeopardy:

Holzhauer’s guess: Madonna

Answer: Jane Fonda

 

I was actually surprised by a few of the ones he actually missed.

So, how did you do? 

SOURCE:

https://www.businessinsider.com/questions-answers-james-holzhauer-got-wrong-on-jeopardy-2019-5#ballet-the-creators-of-1943s-fancy-free-called-each-other-lenny-and-jerry-leonard-bernstein-and-this-choreographer-10

 

 

Who doesn’t enjoy a handful or three of jelly beans at Easter time?  Well, now that Easter has passed and you’ve consumed your yearly quota of that confection, it’s probably safe to share with you an interesting tidbit that most of you most likely weren’t aware of …

That beautiful glossy glaze that makes jelly beans glimmer is made from the poop of female lac bugs!  YUM!  YUM!

 

The female lac bug (Kerria lacca) sucks the sap out of trees in the forests of India, Thailand and Malaysia, and then poops out the excrement (called sticklac) on branches.  This will become shellac that’s used on our furniture as well as “Confectioner’s Glaze”.  (I think you’d agree that’s a much more appetizing term than “Liquid Lac Bug Sh!t”).

This sticklac is then then scraped off the branches – but because it also contains pieces of bark and pieces of lac bug, it needs to be purified.  The glob is place is a long canvas bag and heated over a fire to liquefy the … hmmm … let’s go with resin.  This is then mostly converted to shellac, and it’s estimated it takes anywhere from 50,000 to 300,000 lac bugs to make a kilogram (2.2 pounds) of shellac flakes.

These shellac flakes are then converted into the Confectioner’s Glaze that’s sprayed on jelly beans, Malted Milk Balls, Raisinettes and even apples.  It not only produces an attractive sheen, but it also extends shell-life.

To make you feel better, the FDA has approved it as safe for human consumption.

I don’t know about you, but I’ll be sticking with Peeps and chocolate Easter bunnies from now on.

As long as were discussing Easter, we shouldn’t pass up covering Rep. Steve (Cantaloupe-Calves) King (R-IA) who had the temerity to claim victimhood comparable to the suffering of Jesus by claiming he’s been crucified by his fellow Rethuglicans.

You can easily recall that while King has a very long and a very ignoble history of uttering racist remarks, this is the one made during an interview with “The New York Times” that crossed the red-line for Rethuglicans:

“White nationalist, white supremacist, Western civilization — how did that language become offensive?”

He was quickly stripped of all his committee assignments – and his whining immediately commenced.

King said he can easily relate to the suffering of Jesus Christ, equating his recent humiliation to what Christ “went through for us.”

“And, when I have to step down to the floor of the House of Representatives, and look up at those 400-and-some accusers, you know we just passed through Easter and Christ’s Passion, and I have better insight into what He went through for us partly because of that experience.”

Well, if King is saying that he, you know, wants to get the full experience of Christ’s Easter Passion, I’m sure there are people willing to chip in for the lumber.  Just saying …

But I don’t want to close with that downer, so I’ll share with you some tidbits and a GIF I came across that illustrates how Twitler will cheat on anyone, everyone, anything and everything … even something as trivial as a game of golf.

Twitler is such a well-know golf cheat that an entire book has been written about it: Commander in Cheat: How Golf Explains Trump.

In fact his caddies have witnessed him kicking his ball out from the rough back onto the fairway (a YUGE golf “NO-NO”) that they’ve nicknamed him Pelé, after the Brazilian soccer legend.

But I will say he’s a very accomplished and skillful cheater, as this GIF demonstrates.  But I slowed it down and you have to watch closely because he’s perfected the art:

You don’t get that smooth at cheating without years of practice!

 

A Fox news (sic) contributor was savagely mocked for wearing a partial bulletproof vest while reporting at the border with Mexico.  (Although it’s not clear which of the three Mexican countries that Fox thinks exist, he was at.)

Apparently, Lawrence Jones was taking his haberdashery hints from Jared’s blazer and flak jacket ensemble he wore so well a few years back.

So who wore it better?  Here is Lawrence Jones all decked out, ready to rumble …

Coming up on @FoxNews live from the border. pic.twitter.com/aRlNQxrO1x

— Lawrence Jones III (@LawrenceBJones3) April 4, 2019

Well, except for the fact that it’s way too small – and didn’t have the protective steel plates inserted …

1. Next time you might want to buy the vest from the adults section.

2. That's a decorative prop, not a functional piece of protective gear. https://t.co/PjN8Wk0YQJ

— Benjamin Allbright (@AllbrightNFL) April 4, 2019

Those vests work better when the plates are in them.
Might weigh a few pounds but that’s what actually stops the bullets.

— Randy Bryce (@IronStache) April 4, 2019

Other reporters were quick to join in the mocking reminding him that it is NOT a war zone.

Dude. Why are you wearing a bulletproof vest. YOU ARE NOT IN A WAR ZONE. Here I am reporting from the border recently WITHOUT a bulletproof vest, but WITH a coat of fabulous hairspray! pic.twitter.com/ftmBzjTBVT

— Lisa Guerrero 💃🏽 (@4lisaguerrero) April 4, 2019

This is totally ridiculous.

I have never once worn a bulletproof vest at the border, nor has CBP ever asked me to — even while on a chase with Border Patrol to apprehend migrants in remote Arizona desert in the middle of the night.

Because. The. Border. Is. Not. A. War. Zone. https://t.co/Q1V95e7N5x

— Jacob Soboroff (@jacobsoboroff) April 4, 2019

Thin-skinned Jones got defensive about all the mocking and tried claiming the CBP agents demand that he wear the vest.  But here’s an earlier Tweet he posted of himself and CBP agents at the border – and NONE of them are wearing body armor.

Coming up on @foxnews @seanhannity live from the border. pic.twitter.com/9xEu2xFTlZ

— Lawrence Jones III (@LawrenceBJones3) April 4, 2019

Does Fox only require reporters to don a flak jacket when they’re on camera?  Nah – it’s all part of Twitler & Fox’s plan to stoke fear and hatred at every opportunity!  Gotta keep the MAGA cult riled up, dontcha know?

But it was too hard to pass up the chance to have some fun Photoshopping that vest – and Twitter Tweeters did:

No doubt this is how Fox wants you to view him:

SO TOUGH! pic.twitter.com/Da8EpqmXEp

— Micah Wright (@MicahWright) April 4, 2019

But this is how he actually appears …

pic.twitter.com/tm0dipTjgn

— Tʜɘ Wɒƨ ᙠunny 🐇 Kamala 2020 (@TheWasBunny) April 5, 2019

pic.twitter.com/Wr0cqll8AO

— / spek-ˈt(r)ä-fə-gəs / (@spectrophagus) April 4, 2019

No time for hatred on #NationalBurritoDay pic.twitter.com/Qm07CmG0QE

— Fuzz Martin (@FuzzMartin) April 4, 2019

But we have to admit that those vests can actually be quite useful …

pic.twitter.com/gFu01RDrr0

— Dylan (@dyllyp) April 4, 2019

Oh, and WRT Twitler making claims while visiting the “his new wall” that “he got built” – it isn’t and he didn’t.

This section replaced one built in the 1990’s with recycled metal scraps and landing mats.  And it was Pres. Obama who designated it for an upgrade back in 2009.

But Twitler did manage to expound about the fence with his customary eloquence:

“If you want to climb that, it’s pretty sharp up on top, too. If you want to climb that then you deserve whatever you can get, but it’s very, very hard. It’s meant anti-climb. It’s called anti-climb, so it’s a great wall and … I think it looks fantastic — very see-through, so you’re able to see the other side, which is a very important element.”

Kyrie, eleison. Lord, have mercy!