SoINeedAName

May 312019
 

I usually only have to mow the grass once a week, but with all the rain we’ve had I needed to increase the frequency.  So I was out cutting the grass in the afternoon when all of a sudden the mower just stopped.  And I could not get it started.

Let it sit over night thinking maybe I flooded it w/ all my pulls – but still “No Go”.

GRRR

So now I’ll have to take it into the shop to get it fixed (hopefully), then find a rental place that has walk behind mowers and get the grass cut.

Should be able to do a Saturday Smile tomorrow  – unless Miss Fortune has a few more tricks in store.

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May 252019
 

ANSWERS

You guys did very well.  Some were easy-peasy & some were tricky.

[1]

“Smocking Gun” x2 should be Smoking Gun

[2]

“Democrat” – should be Democratic

“Councel” – should be counsel

[3]

“roll” – should be role

[4]

Several in the Letter – corrected

[5]

“loose” – should be lose

[6]

“best selling” – should be best-selling

“pour” – should be pore

[7]

“Boarder” – should be Border

[8]

“seperation” – should be separation

[9]

“Somolia” – should be Somalia

[10]

“tarrifs” – should be tariffs

[11]

“Melanie” – should (probably – BUT with his history of philandering, you never know) be Melania

[12]

“to” – should be too

 

 

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May 242019
 

It’s true – Twitler did brag that …

“I went to an Ivy League school. I’m very highly educated.

I know words — I have the best words.”

http://time.com/4426705/donald-trump-treason-dictionary/

And because of that, I get another week to work on “The Project”.

Having spent summers as a kid, plus a year-and-a-half after residency (while one of my uncles bravely battled cancer) on the family farm, one learns to “Make hay while the sun shines.”

So when Twitler chalked up one more of his achomlishments by handing us another spelling gift, I decided to run with it.

Probably no typo/neologism of his has left more of a culture impact than last May 31, middle-of-the-night Tweet that began and ended “Despite the constant negative press covfefe.”

But yesterday after his choreographed temper tantrum with Speaker Pelosi and Sen. Schumer then storming out to his pre-planned “spontaneous” press conference carrying his handwritten notes, we were treated to a twofer: ACHOMLISHMENTS & INTENTIALLY (he tends to capitalize ad lib).

So Twitter wasn’t going to let this pass by without weighing in – so let’s enjoy a few of them!

It all started when Dan Eggen spotted a WaPo photo of Twitler’s notes, and noticed the spelling errors.

His spelling was so egregious even Spellcheck wasn’t able to help:

So in lieu of a regular Presidential Debate, someone suggested a Spelling Bee:

And my favorite:

But there have been so many – I mean who can forget his feeding mammoth numbers of “Hamberders” to the Clemson Tigers?  And Trump has also referred to the plane as “Air Force Once,” hoped for “lasting peach” in the Middle East, bragged that his presidency was “enormously consensual,” called the Marine Corps “the Marine Core,” hoped that those suffering in Texas after Hurricane Harvey would be “heeling”, and called an act by China “unpresidented.”

But there really are too many to count: “WH council” “tapp my phones” “no challenge is to great” “attaker” “San Bernadino” “Demakr” “I hear by demand a second investigation” … and MORE.  All these quotes are from our “extremely stable genius”.

Makes you proud to be an American, doesn’t it?

But to hone your skills at spotting his numerous spelling and grammar gaffes, how about a little practice?  (We know how nervous Twitler would react if I said “Test” – so I’m going with “practice”.)

Some are easy-peasy and some are pretty tough.  There can be more than one in each post.  Some will be actual Tweets and some have to be photos because one of his aides corrected it, so it’s no longer available.

I’ll post the answers tomorrow to give you plenty of time.

 

 

Absolutely no one was spared …

Not even his own Official Inaugural Poster got a proofreading:

 

Talk about being “Dumb as a rock …”

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May 172019
 

I started a topic that I think is very interesting – but the more I researched, the bigger it got.  I’m hoping I can put it together for next week.  So I’m moving to Plan “B”: Odds & Ends.

File This Under “Karma Is a …”

Do you happen to remember Pamela Taylor?  She’s the Trumpkin who called Michelle Obama an “ape in heels”.

Pamela was director of the Clay County (WV) Development Corporation who posted this comment on her Facebook page about then then-first lady Michelle Obama right after the 2016 election.

“It will be refreshing to have a classy, beautiful, dignified First Lady in the White House. I’m tired of seeing a (sic) Ape in heels.”

To which fellow Trumpkin, Clay County Mayor Beverly Whaling responded, “Just made my day Pam.”

After the predictable social media firestorm, both women later apologized.  Plus Pamela was fired and Whaling resigned.

It gets better!  Turns out that after a 1,000-year disastrous flood in Clay County that killed 23 people, Pamela thought it’d be a good idea to help herself to some FEMA funds.  So she fraudulently applied for, and received, over $18,000 from FEMA claiming her house was so damaged that she had to live elsewhere.

BUT she got caught living in her undamaged house that was not near the flooding.  She had little choice, so she pleaded guilty to defrauding FEMA!  She’s already agreed to reimburse the $18,149.04 she stole from FEMA AND will be sentenced this coming May 30th for her embezzlement – so mark your calendars.

She faces up 30 years in prison and a fine up to $500,000!

Remember when Rethuglicans tried claim they were the party of Lincoln?  With stories like this combined with the endless lying and malfeasance of Twitler is it any wonder that this sculpture – titled “Liberty Crumbling” – by Damon Langlois (who happens to hail from Victoria, BC) won First Place in the 2019 Texas Sandfest?

 

But we need something more upbeat.  How about a huge Hat Tip to a quick-thinking school bus driver with incredibly fast reflexes.  One shudders to think what might have happened.  Matt is one lucky boy!

And another close call, while you’re having a “whale” of a time, that makes for a spectacular video:

And since you’re always supposed to leave your audience laughing, how about a few jokes that might come in handy:

Q: Unhappy with how “The Sopranos” ended OR worried how “Game of Thrones” is going to end?  So, what TV series do you think ended well?

A: The Watergate Hearings

 Julian Assange is a journalist like Jeffrey Dahmer was a vegetarian.

 Calling Donald Trump a “businessman” is like calling Dr. Pepper a “cardiologist”.

 

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May 102019
 

I’m sure we’ve all been amazed by the phenomenal success of James Holzhauer on Jeopardy.  His 22-game winning streak has now netted him more than $1.6 MILLION!  We’ll see how he does when the show resumes on May 20th.  He’s certainly earned his Jeopardy Hall of Fame status!

But he hasn’t gotten ALL right answers (or actually “Questions”) ALL the time.  So I thought it be fun to give you the chance to test your knowledge with the stumpers that James missed.

NO CHEATING NOW!

QUESTIONS

[But as we all know, they’re actually formatted as “Answers”]

(The first line is the Category name that Jeopardy used)

[1] We Will Rock You:

In 2018 this band “didn’t have a dime but I always had a vision, always had high, high hopes.”

 

[2] American History:

A 1975 N.Y. Daily News headline after this man opposed a federal bailout: “To City: Drop Dead.”

 

[3] Phrase Origins:

19th-century exhibitions saw fire brigades competing either using water, or in one of these, now a term for a practice effort.

 

[4] American History:

On June 1, 1660, Mary Dyer, one of this religious sect’s “Boston martyrs,” was hanged on Boston Common.

 

[5] The First Winner:

In 1903 Maurice Garin was its first winner in 94 hours, 33 minutes, 14 seconds.

 

[6] Holidays and Observances:

Constitution Day is September 17; this related set is celebrated every December 15.

 

[7] Route ’66:

Modern auto safety took a big step in 1966 as LBJ signed bills mandating seat belts and rupture-resistant these.

 

[8] Monet-Punny:

A common sight was walking around Monet, who worked outdoors, as in a cliff walk in this Channel-side French region.

 

[9] Don’t Tread on Meme:

A 2016 interview with this Batman actor found him looking sad; the internet then made him the meme we deserve.

 

[10] Ballet:

The creators of 1943’s “Fancy Free” called each other Lenny & Jerry — Leonard Bernstein and this choreographer.

 

[11] Let’s Go to the Wildlife Refuge:

More than 5,000 of these big deer spend winters at the Wyoming national refuge named for them.

 

[12] Journalists:

Often called the first “war” one of these, Crimean war reporter William Howard Russell preferred “special” one.

 

[13] American Poetry:

Frank O’Hara’s most famous poem is “The Day Lady Died,” in which he reads about this jazz singer’s death in 1959.

 

[14] The Civil War:

On July 21, 1861, the Union attacked the Confederates near a stone bridge crossing this creek in the first battle of it.

 

[15] Music Festivals:

At the Montreux Jazz Festival, you might see smoke on the water of this Swiss lake’s shoreline.

 

[16] Science Central:

In 1916, the great chemist Gilbert Lewis called the central part of an atom this, a word we use for the seed of an apricot pit.

 

[17] Movies in the DirectTV Guide:

“Two hit men, a boxer, a crime boss, and others meet their fates over the course of two days.”

 

[18] Greek Cuisine:

Made in the Vytina region, the first type of this sweetener does not crystallize.

 

[19] Crazy Weather We’re Having!:

In 2013 there were 114-degree temps in La Rioja, the wine belt of this South American country.

 

[20] Breaks and Livers:

The portal vein brings venous blood to the liver, while this artery brings oxygenated arterial blood.

 

[21] The Franklin Institute:

Beethoven & Mozart wrote for this instrument that Ben Franklin created, which he said gave him the greatest personal satisfaction of all his inventions

 

[22] Press Your Luck:

Permanent press is a process where fabric gets chemically treated to make it resistant to these.

 

[23 Final Jeopardy:

This inductee into the Video Hall of Fame sold 17 million copies of a video cassette she released in 1982.

 

To break up the Q&A sections, how about a few photos of cute cats proving that they can sleep anywhere and in any position?

 

ANSWERS

[But as we all know, they’re actually formatted as “Questions”]

 

[1] We Will Rock You:

Holzhauer’s guess: Fall Out Boy

Answer: Panic! At the Disco

 

[2] American History:

Holzhauer’s guess: Ed Koch

Answer: Gerald Ford

 

[3] Phrase Origins:

Holzhauer’s guess: A skirmish

Answer: Dry run

 

[4] American History:

Holzhauer’s guess: The Puritans

Answer: The Quakers

 

[5] The First Winner:

Holzhauer’s guess: Paris to Dakur

Answer: Tour de France

 

[6] Holidays and Observances:

Holzhauer’s guess: The Articles of Confederation

Answer: Bill of Rights

 

[7] Route ’66:

Holzhauer’s guess: Airbags

Answer: Fuel tanks

 

[8] Monet-Punny:

Holzhauer’s guess: Brittany

Answer: Normandy

 

[9] Don’t Tread on Meme:

Holzhauer’s guess: Christian Bale

Answer: Ben Affleck

 

[10] Ballet:

Holzhauer’s guess: Herman

Answer: Jerome Robbins

 

[11] Let’s Go to the Wildlife Refuge:

Holzhauer’s guess: Moose

Answer: Elk

 

[12] Journalists:

Holzhauer’s guess: Photographer

Answer: Correspondent

 

[13] American Poetry:

Holzhauer’s guess: Ella Fitzgerald

Answer: Billie Holiday

 

[14] The Civil War:

Holzhauer’s guess: The Manassas

Answer: First Battle of Bull Run

 

[15] Music Festivals:

Holzhauer’s guess: Lucerne

Answer: Lake Geneva

 

[16] Science Central:

Holzhauer’s guess: The stone

Answer: Kernel

 

[17] Movies in the DirectTV Guide:

Holzhauer’s guess: “Snatch.”

Answer: “Pulp Fiction”

 

[18] Greek Cuisine:

Holzhauer’s guess: Sugar

Answer: Honey

 

[19] Crazy Weather We’re Having!:

Holzhauer’s guess: Chile

Answer: Argentina

 

[20] Breaks and Livers:

Holzhauer’s guess: Pulmonary

Answer: Hepatic

 

[21] The Franklin Institute:

Holzhauer’s guess: Glass flute

Answer: Glass harmonica

 

[22] Press your luck:

Holzhauer’s guess: Stains

Answer: Wrinkles

 

[23 Final Jeopardy:

Holzhauer’s guess: Madonna

Answer: Jane Fonda

 

I was actually surprised by a few of the ones he actually missed.

So, how did you do? 

SOURCE:

https://www.businessinsider.com/questions-answers-james-holzhauer-got-wrong-on-jeopardy-2019-5#ballet-the-creators-of-1943s-fancy-free-called-each-other-lenny-and-jerry-leonard-bernstein-and-this-choreographer-10

 

 

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May 032019
 

Today’s Episode is brought to you by the letters: K – F – C.

Well, except for Lindsey Graham.  He really ruffled a lot of feathers at AG Barr’s Senate Judiciary Hearing when he decided to go with just the “F-Word”.  But for once, I think we all agree he got it right! [NSFW w/ Audio]

Sen. McTurtle was so thrilled with AG Barr’s lying during the Senate Judiciary Hearing that afterwards, he triumphantly carried him out on his back:

But the next day, Barr really laid an egg with his fowl behavior when he went AWOL for the scheduled House Judiciary Hearing.  But thanks to Rep. Steve Cohen (D-TN), the day still provided some smiles because he hatched a great plan that created the “Chicken Barr Meme” that went viral!

Just so you know I’m not just winging it, here’s a quick overview of what happened:

Leave it to C-Span to memorialize his clever gambit:

We’re probably a little disappointed Democrats haven’t served any subpoenas for Barr’s no-show … YET!  But no doubt some eatery in DC will be serving “Chicken Barr Sandwiches” in short order.

And Rep. Cohen realized he masterminded a trend, and so created an appropriate Photoshopped portrait of Barr:

But I think this one is even better – and more appropriate:

Of course, others couldn’t resist the Photoshop opportunity’s – here’s one channeling the “Wizard of Oz”:

It wasn’t long before someone asked the inevitable question …

(You got to admit, that chicken walking across the road in tennis shoes is pure poultry in motion.)

But from Barr’s perspective, it was a humiliating (but much-deserved) day of mockery.  Hiding out all day, he felt really cooped up, so he decided to head on home …

Naturally Twitler was feeling pretty cocky – both about Barr’s lying in the Senate Hearing AND his chicken act of not showing up for the House Hearing.

But that’s no surprise – Twitler loves chicks … err, chickens:

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Apr 262019
 

Who doesn’t enjoy a handful or three of jelly beans at Easter time?  Well, now that Easter has passed and you’ve consumed your yearly quota of that confection, it’s probably safe to share with you an interesting tidbit that most of you most likely weren’t aware of …

That beautiful glossy glaze that makes jelly beans glimmer is made from the poop of female lac bugsYUM!  YUM!

 

The female lac bug (Kerria lacca) sucks the sap out of trees in the forests of India, Thailand and Malaysia, and then poops out the excrement (called sticklac) on branches.  This will become shellac that’s used on our furniture as well as “Confectioner’s Glaze”.  (I think you’d agree that’s a much more appetizing term than “Liquid Lac Bug Sh!t”).

This sticklac is then then scraped off the branches – but because it also contains pieces of bark and pieces of lac bug, it needs to be purified.  The glob is place is a long canvas bag and heated over a fire to liquefy the … hmmm … let’s go with resin.  This is then mostly converted to shellac, and it’s estimated it takes anywhere from 50,000 to 300,000 lac bugs to make a kilogram (2.2 pounds) of shellac flakes.

These shellac flakes are then converted into the Confectioner’s Glaze that’s sprayed on jelly beans, Malted Milk Balls, Raisinettes and even apples.  It not only produces an attractive sheen, but it also extends shell-life.

To make you feel better, the FDA has approved it as safe for human consumption.

I don’t know about you, but I’ll be sticking with Peeps and chocolate Easter bunnies from now on.

As long as were discussing Easter, we shouldn’t pass up covering Rep. Steve (Cantaloupe-Calves) King (R-IA) who had the temerity to claim victimhood comparable to the suffering of Jesus by claiming he’s been crucified by his fellow Rethuglicans.

You can easily recall that while King has a very long and a very ignoble history of uttering racist remarks, this is the one made during an interview with “The New York Times” that crossed the red-line for Rethuglicans:

“White nationalist, white supremacist, Western civilization — how did that language become offensive?”

He was quickly stripped of all his committee assignments – and his whining immediately commenced.

King said he can easily relate to the suffering of Jesus Christ, equating his recent humiliation to what Christ “went through for us.”

“And, when I have to step down to the floor of the House of Representatives, and look up at those 400-and-some accusers, you know we just passed through Easter and Christ’s Passion, and I have better insight into what He went through for us partly because of that experience.”

Well, if King is saying that he, you know, wants to get the full experience of Christ’s Easter Passion, I’m sure there are people willing to chip in for the lumber.  Just saying …

But I don’t want to close with that downer, so I’ll share with you some tidbits and a GIF I came across that illustrates how Twitler will cheat on anyone, everyone, anything and everything … even something as trivial as a game of golf.

Twitler is such a well-know golf cheat that an entire book has been written about it: Commander in Cheat: How Golf Explains Trump.

In fact his caddies have witnessed him kicking his ball out from the rough back onto the fairway (a YUGE golf “NO-NO”) that they’ve nicknamed him Pelé, after the Brazilian soccer legend.

But I will say he’s a very accomplished and skillful cheater, as this GIF demonstrates.  But I slowed it down and you have to watch closely because he’s perfected the art:

You don’t get that smooth at cheating without years of practice!

 

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Apr 192019
 

UPDATE NOTE: I have edited this post so that BOTH the TEXT ABOUT and the PHOTO of Notre Dame are LINKS to the interactive, zoomable 360-degree aerial picture.  It truly is worth a Look-See!

This will be fairly brief because I’m still dizzy from shaking my head so much in disbelief over what America’s Attorney GeneralTWITLER’S attorney, Bill Barr, did yesterday in his Spin Zone rollout Whitewash Coverup of the Mueller Report.

How Barr justifies giving Twitler a total pass in his own unbelievable words: “… there is substantial evidence to show that the President was frustrated and angered….”

Well, Hell’s Bells – I didn’t realize that Twitler was “FRUSTRATED” and “ANGRY” about the Special Counsel Investigation … did you?

Golly gee, that changes everything.  Absolutely: NO COLLUSION – NO OBSTRUCTION!  Constitutional crisis avoided.

Moving on, and just to reinforce the fact that I actually do have real compassion (just not for Twitler), here’s a touching video of someone caring for a bee who had no wings.  A lesson worth sharing.  (You might want to have a hanky handy.)

We’ve all been saddened by the damage that a fire has done to Notre Dame Cathedral.  But here is a fascinating 360-Degree Interactive, Zoomable Aerial View of Paris centered on the charred remains.  I think it’s best to view full-screen.

NOTE: Sorry for the confusion.  The above, bolded description of the site is the Link.  

BUT I’ve now also made the photo itself a link.  But you’ll have to do a right-click “Open In New Tab” or “Open In New Window” because if you click on the photo itself – it’ll open the whole page as a new window.

Just grab the picture with your cursor and move it around.  To Zoom in and out, use the scroll-wheel on your mouse.  And if you don’t have scroll-wheel, then use the “+” and “-” signs on the keyboard.

NSFW – My Righteous Rant That Is NOT SAFE FOR WORK

Just like Twitler, I, too, am frustrated and angry – and I’m going to relieve some of that frustration and anger by venting a bit.

My current favorite part of the whole Mueller Report is this passage on page 290 (or page 78 of Vol. II):

… when Sessions told the President that a Special Counsel had been appointed, the President slumped back in his chair and said, “Oh my God. This is terrible. This is the end of my Presidency. I’ m fucked.”

That is NOT a phase an innocent person would ever utter.  So let’s see what some folks have done with Twitler’s actual admission of guilt …

Taking a page from Twitler’s own playbook, the “Game of Thrones” was used a couple of times:

And one I like even better:

And here’s Twitler issuing another of his Executive Orders:

But given how Barr handled – and most likely will continue to handle – the Mueller Report, I guess Melania can offer a pithy summary of where our country is at … at least for the immediate time being:

 

 

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