Sadly, my neuropathy pain kept me awake all night last night. I was hopeful that I’d be able to put it all together yet today – but I’ve dozed off at my desk twice today.
Should be able to get it posted on Saturday.
Aug 212020
SoINeedAName
Aug 152020
We know that since Trump has no policies, programs or plans to use in trying to promote his reelection, he’s going to rely on doing what he always does: Mocking and denigrating his opponents.
Of course, one of the major themes he’ll go to time and again will be “Sleepy Joe” is getting senile or suffers from dementia, as witnessed here:
Joe Biden got tongue tied over the weekend when he was unable to properly deliver a very simple line about his decision to run for President. Get used to it, another low I.Q. individual!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) March 18, 2019
So I decided it would serve us well to “arm” ourselves by recalling some of the YUGE gaffes Trump has committed. But I learned that it’s simply too YUGE of an undertaking for just one post, so I’m going to split it up into parts, trying to focus on one aspect at a time.
Today I’ll primarily be zeroing in on Trump’s Geography Gaffes.
Living in the KCMO Metro and being a proud Chiefs fan, I’ll start with the his Tweet (since deleted, so I only have a screenshot) congratulating the Chiefs on their great comeback victory over the 49ers – claiming they represented the “Great State of Kansas … so very well”.
Very nice – except the Chiefs are in the Great State of Missouri!
He really does have a problem with American geography – like his claim to be building his infamous “Wall” along the border of Colorado. Just as with his Missouri-Kansas gaffe, he quickly deleted it.
But he could have just as easily corrected it with an instrument he’s intimately familiar with – his Sharpie:
But he feels no need to limit his geographical blunders to the USA when he has the whole world available to him.
Only heaven knows why, but Trump has called the country of Belgium “A beautiful city.”
.@realDonaldTrump thinks Belgium is a city, albeit a pretty one. https://t.co/0CQWpckgk7
— George Conway (@gtconway3d) January 28, 2020
When hosting a visit by Indian PM Modi, Trump actully told Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi that “It’s not as though you have China right on your border.” Ahhh … Donnie – have you EVER looked at a map?
For the record, India’s 2,500-mile border with China is more than 500 miles longer than the U.S. border with Mexico.
And for some odd reason, Trump thinks that Paris is in Germany.
If you think that Paris is in Germany, well then of course you’re going to think that the Chiefs play in Kansas. https://t.co/RF5e3Rb1VO
— George Conway (@gtconway3d) February 3, 2020
One of my favorites is when Trump finally learned that Nepal & Bhutan were NOT parts of India (they’re not) – but actually individual countries (they are).
And Trump gets Bonus Points for pronouncing them “Nipple” and “Button”. (No – really … he did. He’s that dumb!)
Trump was exercising some of those amazing Article II powers that he believes grants him “the right to do whatever I want as president”. (Yeah – he really said that) when he created a brand new African nation out of whole cloth in referring to the country of “Nambia” — not once, but TWICE.
Aides had to later clarify to a confused audience that “Nambia” does NOT exist, and that Trump was trying to refer to Namibia – and not Zambia or Gambia.
While we’re on the African CONTINENT, Trump has repeatedly called Africa a “country”.
Then there was the time Trump created a diplomatic furor when he accused the leaders of the Baltic states of Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania of being responsible for starting the war in Yugoslavia in the 1990s.
The leaders figured out that he had mixed up “Baltic” with “Balkan.” (Hey – they sound a good deal alike.)
It’s a well-documented fact that Trump is a famous name dropper. Fortunately Prince Charles was a good sport when Trump called him the “Prince of Whales”. (Don’t bother getting out your maps of the UK – it only exists in Trump’s mind.)
"The Prince of Whales". Very funny, Donald Trump. Did you do that on porpoise? pic.twitter.com/EbivrOLVLV
— Prince Charles (@Charles_HRH) June 13, 2019
We can only imagine how Trump would mangle meeting the Dauphin of France.
And why should he limit himself to Earth when he has the whole universe to screwup – like claiming that the Moon is part of Mars.
For all of the money we are spending, NASA should NOT be talking about going to the Moon – We did that 50 years ago. They should be focused on the much bigger things we are doing, including Mars (of which the Moon is a part), Defense and Science!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) June 7, 2019
Sticking with our Solar System, that flub prompted one person to respond in a Comment by suggesting something that I believe would be anatomically difficult to do:
NSFW
https://twitter.com/tonyposnanski/status/1137051501107589120
Without a doubt, his most famous geographical gaffe has been his longstanding belief that Honolulu is located in Kenya! The good citizens of Honolulu had fun greeting him at the airport with mocking signs when he stopped in Hawaii on his return from South Asia .
And I want to close by sharing my current favorite GIF in a side-by-side demonstration that Biden does NOT have dementia but does have way more stamina than Trump could ever hope to have:
Aug 142020
No changing of horses in midstream this time – but I did bite off more than I can chew. The post simply got way too long.
So I’m going to have to go back and divide it up into several parts that I’ll post at different intervals to keep it fresh.
I just haven’t decided the best way to divvy it up yet – but should have it done by tomorrow.
Sorry.
Aug 072020
Yet again I’m violating that old dictum of “Don’t change horses in midstream”. But this time I’m changing to a llama! Specifically, to Caesar “The No Drama Llama” McCool, owned by Larry McCool of Jefferson Oregon.
(I just read about Caesar right after lunch – so I threw this together in a hurry. But trust me – this story has a lot more panache than what I had ready to go. But I’ll foist that on you another time.)
What makes Caesar so unique is his unusual demeanor for a llama, which are usually solitary animals and not all that fond of humans. But Caesar is loving and relishes interacting with people to the point he’s actually become a “llama therapist”.
Caesar is a 6-year-old Argentine grand champion show llama who lives at McCool’s Mystic Llama farm. Before the COVID-19 Pandemic and the BLM protests, Caesar was busy offering emotional support and hugs (he actually nuzzles back when he gets a hug “It’s all I can do to keep him from snuggling” McCool claims) to retirement centers, foster homes and schools.
But for the past several months McCool has brought him to Black Lives Matter marches at least ten times, including five in Portland (which is 75 miles from Jefferson) to help with emotional support.
McCool says Caesar is actually a “llamactivist” who’s been busy with social and charity events, and has participated in more than 50 marches over the years for various social justice and environmental issues.
It was this impressive résumé that inspired McCool to bring him to the Portland protests as a calming influence for both the protestors and police. And Caesar’s been a wildly popular success with all parties!
At 5′-8″ and 350 pounds, you would think Caesar might be intimidating. But people line up to pet his soft wool and give him a hug – and his calm demeanor just rubs off on folks.
McCool says that he’s very careful to monitor the situation, and the minute he sees or senses events getting too rambunctious, he and Caesar more to a safe zone.
Caesar may not be able to talk, but he can sense the vibe of his surroundings. McCool reports that on June 9th when 5,000 people laid down on the Burnside Bridge in Portland for 8 minutes 46 seconds in memory of George Floyd, Caesar was right there and stood stock-still for 9 minutes. He was able to grasp the gravity of the moment.
And Caesar travels in style. He has his own trailer with two inches of foam padding to protect and keep him comfortable and safe. And we’re thankful for that.
After all, McCool shares that he’s seen huge, muscular protestors in makeshift body armor come up and give Caesar a hug for over a minute with tears streaming down their faces. Then turning to McCool say “Man, did I need that!”
“Maybe they’re going to have a better day because of a llama hug. Who would have thought a llama could bring this much joy?”
Pretty sure ALL sides can give Larry McCool and Caesar a huge “THANK YOU!” hug for a job well done!
SOURCES:
https://www.insider.com/caesar-the-no-drama-llama-keeping-peace-portland-protests-2020-8
https://www.nytimes.com/reuters/2020/08/07/us/07reuters-global-race-protests-llama.html
Aug 022020
No doubt we’ve all hit our “funny bone” at one time or another. So what is your “funny bone”? Well, actually it’s not a bone – it’s a nerve. Specifically the ulnar that runs from your neck to your hand. And like most nerves it’s protected by bones, muscles & ligaments.
BUT when it passes through the elbow in the cubital canal at the end of the humerus (humerus – “humorous” … get it?) it’s only protected by skin. So when you bump it you experience that trifecta of numbness, tingling and PAIN.
Always curious why they call it the “funny bone” – because there’s nothing “funny” about it. I just like puns.
(If you’re wondering why it’s so late, it’s because my relatives unexpectedly stopped over this afternoon for a surprise visit to enjoy a break in the weather from the oppressive heat we’ve been suffering through. Being the good host that I am, we all enjoyed a few libations. “And a good time was had by all….”)
On to the hopefully “humorous” part.
I’ve curated a few Tweets the tickled my “funny bone” (humerus – “humorous” … get it?).
The first captures a question I’ve actually long wondered about:
How is it every picture of Jared looks like it’s from The Omen III? pic.twitter.com/Vm1Eec9ttr
— Schooley (@Rschooley) April 9, 2020
Next are the McCloskeys – the Bonnie & Clyde couple of the uber-rich in St. Louis. Not that threateningly waving around a AR-15 rifle and a semiautomatic handgun is particularly amusing – but I found this likely conversation pretty funny:
"I don't have my keys, do you?"
"No, you said 'get your gun, we're going to threaten some black people' I assumed that meant you had the keys!" pic.twitter.com/JN83YWcICp— J. Elvis Weinstein (@JElvisWeinstein) June 29, 2020
It’s not all that often that a typo, especially from the prestigious BBC, is both accurate AND entertaining – but it perfectly pegs that UK right-wing Brexiter Nigel Farage perfectly:
Well done typo. pic.twitter.com/1iXlsjkDOb
— Facts Central (@StillDelvingH) July 11, 2020
And for all the Trumpkin idiots who refuse to wear a mask – but think actual TRUE Patriots wearing a mask will protect them … a lesson they might actually understand:
Passenger: why should I have to wear a mask if yours works?
Driver: damn good point *turns off headlights*
Passenger: what are you doing it’s dark
Driver: chill the other cars have them on
— clean slate (@PleaseBeGneiss) July 15, 2020
It’s NEVER a good idea to use ominous video clips from YOUR tenure to try and cast blame on your opponent:
When you use images from your own presidency to warn of what would happen if your opponent won pic.twitter.com/DFtOYu4WuO
— Taniel (@Taniel) July 20, 2020
Couldn’t pass up at least one “Pick the Elephant” Cognitive Test Tweet:
Jimmy Carter was a Naval Acad Grad, studied nuclear physics and served on ‘Seawolf.’ Bill Clinton was a Yale Law Grad & Rhodes Scholar at Oxford. Barack Obama was President of Harvard Law Review. Trump can pick out an Elephant from a sketch on a good day, maybe. @realDonaldTrump
— NoelCaslerComedy (@CaslerNoel) July 23, 2020
Fucker Tucker Carlson has certainly had a rough past few weeks – and deservedly so! But I echo the poster’s sentiment: “And the downside is …?”
Tucker Carlson: "If Democrats take both the Senate and the White House, and they could, you will not recognize America a year from now" https://t.co/fjcFP15g3E
— Media Matters (@mmfa) July 24, 2020
We’ve all read that Melania, realizing her time in the White House is limited, has decided to undertake a Rose Garden renovation. But you’ve probably not seen a preview of her plans … yet:
Melania demonstrates her plan for the flowers in the Rose Garden. pic.twitter.com/4xSzDmnFH3
— Mrs. Betty Bowers (@BettyBowers) July 27, 2020
Even those who might not be medically oriented, you’ll still have to wonder about this:
JUST IN: Scientist have confirmed a new development in COVID-19; with the announcement of Rep. Louis Gohmert of Texas contracting the virus; the CDC can now confirm that “…the virus can jump species from human to whatever Rep. Louis Gohmert is.”
Developing.
— YS (@NYinLA2121) July 29, 2020
And staying on that medical theme – another “Is That Even Anatomically Possible?” head-scratcher.
Republican politician Louie Gohmert, who claims to have caught COVID-19 from wearing a mask, is now claiming he got pregnant after several people told him to go fuck himself.
— Middle Age Riot (@middleageriot) July 30, 2020
Aug 012020
Who (and there’s a certain WHO who Springs to mind) happen to celebrate today as their natal day …
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Aug 012020
It’ll have to be “Sunday Smile” – but in the meantime, a tidbit to tide us over.
I had hearing back in 1999 – so I’m able to remember the tune (and words) from Don McLean’s wildly popular “American Pie”.
This version has been updated with the Founding Fathers as concerned choristers:
Jul 242020
I apologize for being a bit late, and this will be one of my shorter ones. I had some last-minute, unanticipated obligations popup that I had to take care of, so just some odds & ends I quickly put together.
There are some rumors circulating that there’s a movement afoot to change our national Independence Day to November 3, 2020.
I could live with that!
CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE
While thinking about the upcoming Biden-Trump debates, I happened to recall a promise he made during the second debate with Hillary that he’d run our country just like he runs his companies.
And he’s kept his word: Out-of-control debt, no idea how to manage a crisis, millions unemployed – and yet he and his grifting family keep get richer and richer. Trump truly has run the country like one of his businesses.
THINGS I TRUST MORE THAN DONALD TRUMP
Came across this Tweet which really had me chuckling. But I would encourage you to scroll down through the comments, because folks kept adding additional more trustworthy things than Trump.
NOTE: You have to scroll down past the Lincoln Project entry.
THINGS I TRUST MORE THAN DONALD TRUMP :
1) Flint Michigan Tap water
2) Gas Station Sushi
3) Bill Cosby as the bartender
4) Taco Bell's bathroom
5) Tom Brady putting air in my tires
6) A shark with a pet me sign
7) A North Korean trial
8) A fart when I have diarrhea.— Timed (@Sagi14_) July 24, 2020
FUN WITH PHOTOSHOP
File this under “Be Careful What You Wish For”.
There’s a wizard at Photoshopping, James Fridman, who gets hundreds of pictures sent to him requesting that they be edited – with specific instructions included.
His shtick is that he takes their requests quite literally – with some funny results.
He’s quite prolific, so if you have the time you can visit his above website. Some are hit-and-miss, but I hope these are a few of his better ones to give you a flavor of his work.
