SoINeedAName

Oct 092020
 

If you thought I would take advantage of the low-hanging fruit courtesy of Tuesday night’s Vice-Presidential debate between Sen. Kamala Harris and Mike Pence – you’d be correct.  And everyone agrees that the star of that evening was The Fly!

(I didn’t want to gross anyone out, but I’m sure you noticed it’s a photo of a creepy, annoying, disease-spreading pest … and the other is the fly.)

At first I thought Pence just got the dates confused, and thought it was “Bring Your Pet to Work Day”.  But then it dawned me that since we all know what flies are attracted to, it all made sense.  I mean, since Pence has had his head up Trump’s arse for four years, the fly would feel very comfortable.

Plus having a brain the size of a poppyseed, it’s natural the fly would be attracted to a kindred spirit.  Truth be told, I was amazed at the restraint Pence showed.  I fully expected him to flick out his reptilian tongue and eat the little guy on live TV!

But fortunately the critter survived and immediately made himself right at home.

In fact, lots of folks think he’s a natural for the next season of Dancing with the Stars.

The fly stayed on Pence’s head a 2 minutes and 3 seconds – so he did a better job of obeying the rules than Pence did!

In fact the fly spent longer on Pence’s head than Pence did working on Coronavirus Pandemic Task Force.

Not only did that fly setup a Twitter account (https://twitter.com/MichaelsFly), but he even wrote a poem about his experience:

I spy with my little fly eye

A pretty creepy white guy

Who let lots of people die

Given the length of time he spent on Pence’s head (converted from Fly-Time to Human-Time), it was decided he should be tested for COVID-19.

Unfortunately the test did not provide good news

And then suddenly, matters took a turn for the worse.

There was no doubt that Joe and the crack Biden crew were going to let this golden opportunity pass:

Right after debate “Truth Over Flies” fly-swatters ($10) went on sale online, and within a couple of hours the 35,000 swatters were sold out

If you’re wondering what the results of the debate were, Sen. Harris’ Kamala’s niece gave a very fair ranking:

Not really that surprising if you took a magnifying glass to study the fly closer – turns out he’s a smart little fly!

The fly generated literally thousands of Tweets and comments, so I know I missed a good many.  But someone put together a video compilation of most of the better ones.  There are some duplicates we’ve already covered, but it’s a pretty good compendium to close with:

 

 

 

 

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Oct 022020
 

[Editor’s Note: Nothing like a power outage (on a gorgeous, sunny autumn day, no less) that haphazardly shuts down the PC while putting the finishing touches, and then having to wait to recover and rebuild what I could.  *sigh*]

I was counting on Debate #1 to be a gold mine for “Friday Fun” – but after watching that train wreck, I was crestfallen.  But with some serious digging, the Inner Tubes delivered.  So let’s see what folks came up with …

Here’s a spot-on summary provided by Jake Tapper

And an even pithier summary from Dana Bash [No CC – but I think we all know what she said]

But the Daily Show had had the best humorous analysis:

In the debate and true to form (at least before today’s news) Trump defended his COVID Super-Spreader Rallies

Undoubtedly the most memorable line of the night was when Joe Biden voiced what we’ve ALL been yelling at DAILY at our TV screens for the past 4+ years:

If we all got a dollar for every time Trump interrupted Biden, we’d have more money than Donnie paid in taxes!

But while we were all wildly cheering Joe on, Pres. Obama, ever the gentleman and diplomat, did look a bit disappointed …

But the moment that will have the longest lasting impact was Trump’s refusal to condemn the White Supremacy group, Proud Boys.

I mean, the man lies about anything and everything – but he could NOT bring himself to lie and go ahead to condemn those violent Nazi racists …

I’m sure we’d all agree with Mayor Pete’s evaluation of the whole situation:

And I think we can all agree that if there happened to be any “Undecideds” among White Supremacists, Trump nailed down their votes in that debate.

The debate did accomplish one thing that for the past four-plus years has been unachievable: It united the country in agreeing it was as bad as everyone described it.  “Star Wars” Luke put it best:

Despite the debacle, rest assured, there was a clear debate Loser (besides America), and it was Donnie:

Even before today’s news that Trump tested positive for COVID, there was unanimous agreement that he should be forced to wear a mask.  In an online Poll, this was America’s favorite:

In closing, I think the High School Principal from Adam Sandler’s “Billy Madison” movie speaks for all of us:

 

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Sep 252020
 

Often, before Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg even speaks a word from the bench, you might well have a good idea of what she’s thinking – just from the jabot she selected to wear.

Her collars serve both as a semiology and semaphore for those who are able to interpret them.  So I thought it’d be interesting and fun to familiarize ourselves with some of her favorites.

When Justice Ginsburg was first confirmed to the Supreme Court, she noted that all the robes she found were designed for men:

“You know, the standard robe is made for a man because it has a place for the shirt to show, and the tie,” Ginsburg told the Washington Post in 2009.  “So Sandra Day O’Connor and I thought it would be appropriate if we included as part of our robe something typical of a woman.  So I have many, many collars.”

 

THE ORIGINAL

This is the jabot she wore for her first official Court portrait.  As is plain to see, it was devoid of any frills, and is very similar to the traditional jabots worn by French justices.

 

HER FAVORITE

The simple white crocheted collar is what she wore to Pres. Obama’s first address to a joint session of the US Congress on December 31, 2005.  It’s the one she tends to show first when displaying her collection of collars and announces it is her favorite.  She wore it to Pres. Obama’s State of the Union in 2012 (an election year), and her 20th anniversary on the bench in 2013.

It was purchased in Cape Town, South Africa – a fact she’s always sure to share – although I was unable to learn the significance of its provenance.

 

MAJORITY OPINION

When she is announcing a majority opinion for the Court, this is the collar she always wears.  The beige and egg-yolk yellow crocheted jabot is quite elaborate, featuring pink edges and gold appliqués, all suspended from a gold chain.

She’s quick to add that it was a gift from her law clerks.  (Kind of like the “Best Boss” coffee mug we might give – only a tad classier.)

 

DISSENT

To express her disapproval (unfortunately too often – but her dissents are eloquent and legendary, and will surely be quoted frequently in future cases) she would wear a bold, black, spiky bib-style necklace decorated with rhinestones from the Banana Republic.  It came from the VIP gift bag at Glamour magazine’s “Women of the Year” gala the year she was an honoree.

It was no coincidence that she also wore it the day after the 2016 election, even though the court had no rulings to issue that day.  It was such a popular design that it’s now available in jewelry, magnets and even paste-on tattoos.

When asked why she chose this one for Dissent, RBG simply said: “It looks fitting for dissent.”

 

FEMINIST FAVORITE

To convey her sentiments of strong equal rights and feminist support, she will wear the Pegasus Necklace from Stella & Dot (never heard of it, but apparently a fairly well-known jewelry maker).  It was a gift from a fellow lawyer who served with her at ACLU.

The gift-giver, Susan Hyman said, “It reminds me of something a warrior princess like Wonder Woman would wear as armor into battle. It projects strength, confidence, and fearlessness.”

Again, no coincidence that she chose it to wear to the Court’s first official portrait with Brett Kavanaugh on November 30, 2018.

And not surprisingly, RBG sent Ms. Hyman a hand-written “Thank You” note.

 

STIFFELIO OPERA COLLAR

This crisp white jabot edged in black has a very interesting background history.  It was purchased at the New York Metropolitan Opera gift shop, and is a replica of the collar worn by Plácido Domingo in Verdi’s opera Stiffelio.

The history made more interesting when Domingo surprised Ginsburg with a serenade when she received an honorary law degree from Harvard. “It was glorious,” she said.

 

LACE – IN HER PORTRAIT

This simple, elegant jabot is what she chose to wear in a portrait she commissioned by Simmie Knox in 2000.

 

MOVIE POSTER

The movie poster for her 2018 “RBG” documentary simply had a collar and her initials – it was all that was needed.

It became such a popular film that theaters started putting up RBG cardboard cutout figures in their lobbies so you could take selfies of yourself as RBG.

There’s a fun, short (2 minutes) interview with Katie Couric chatting about her collars that’s quite interesting.  It contains a clip of her being serenaded by Domingo.  But I couldn’t find anything embeddable (and the CC doesn’t always work).

https://news.yahoo.com/video/justice-ginsburg-exhibits-her-famous-194517521.html

And this brief video (< 1 minute) is fun.  It had a collar from the University of Hawaii made of French lace, and all the beads came from sand on their beaches.

https://www.cnn.com/style/article/ruth-bader-ginsburg-collars/index.html

There are several sites that have quite a few additional photos of RBG and her collars – but none offer any background history (which I obviously enjoy).

https://www.reuters.com/news/picture/collector-of-collars-a-look-back-at-ruth-idUSRTX7WY77

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/ruth-bader-ginsburg-collars_n_58c9812fe4b0cb7d28ce4cf3

As we are now saying farewell to our beloved RBG, I hope we all will continue the good fight she worked so hard for.  So …

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Sep 182020
 

Alav/Aleha Hashalom (“Peace Be Upon Him/Her”)

FILE– Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg in her chambers in Washington, Aug. 23, 2013. Ginsburg on July 14, 2016, apologized for her recent remarks about the candidacy of Donald Trump, saying “On reflection, my recent remarks in response to press inquiries were ill-advised, and I regret making them.” (Hilary Swift/The New York Times)

KADDISH

Exalted and hallowed be God’s great name
in the world which God created, according to plan.
May God’s majesty be revealed in the days of our lifetime
and the life of all Israel — speedily, imminently,
To which we say: Amen.

Blessed be God’s great name to all eternity.

Blessed, praised, honored, exalted,
extolled, glorified, adored, and lauded
be the name of the Holy Blessed One,
beyond all earthly words and songs of blessing, praise, and comfort.
To which we say: Amen.

May there be abundant peace from heaven, and life, for us and all Israel.
To which we say: Amen.

May the One who creates harmony on high, bring peace to us and to all Israel.
To which we say: Amen.

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Sep 182020
 

We Have GOT to Review Those Infantry Applications Closer …

Making Under the Bed an Even BETTER Hiding Place

Target … ACQUIRED!

NO!  I Do NOT Want to Go to the Orthodontist Today!

When the Dog Swipes a Single Bite of the Cat’s Food, You’re Going to Hear About It …

Arrival Time at the Vets

I Have NO Doubt That This Has Happened to Every Pootie Owner After Spending Some Big Bucks on A Special Toy …

They May Not Be Opposable, But Still …

Who Knew There Were Luxurious Cat Spas …

For A Pootie This Cute, I’d Fall for It

It’s Always A Treat When the Bearded Lady from the Circus Visits …

And for My Next Magic Trick, I’ll Reattach the Head …

No, Fluffy – I Do NOT Think The Birds Are Going to Fall For That …

I See Years of Therapy Ahead for An Identity Crisis THIS Profound …

And Finally, to All Who Have Ever Had a Pootie in Our Lives, This Is A Wise Warning for All Us

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Sep 112020
 

Early this evening I came across some low-hanging fruit for a post, so I decided to transform into a “Friday Fun” post.

For those of you who didn’t watch last night’s opening NFL game pitting my Super Bowl KC Chiefs Champs against the Houston Texans, you most likely missed that Chief’s Head Coach Andy Reid fogged up Face Shield was the most talked about aspect of the game.

It was like a Carl Sandburg tribute:

The fog comes
on little cat feet.
It sits looking
over harbor and city
on silent haunches
and then moves on.

Naturally, the Twitterverse decided to create a Meme of that …

So, here was the problem:

Here’s a Reid’s-Eye-View of the game:

And there was plenty of praise for Reid’s coaching acumen:

Still, it did significantly interfere with communication between Coach Reid and MVP QB Patrick Mahomes:

Making the best of a bad situation, Coach Reid learned he does NOT need a whiteboard to sketch out new plays:

Here’s a demo of how Chiefs communicated the good news after scoring a touchdown:

 

And now there’s a Go-Fund-Me page to get Coach Reid a new, updated Face Shield:

 

My question was …

Why was Coach Reid wearing a Tupperware bowl all evening?

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Sep 102020
 

Yesterday I tripped over the cat and took a tumble ending w/ a face plant.

My right knee was quite painful getting up, but I cleaned up my facial abrasions first.  Then my sweatpants rubbing against my right knee became so painful I took a look.  My R knee was HUGE.  So I immediately began RICE treatment (Rest, Ice, Compression & Elevations).

I had my scheduled PT appointment this morning, so I had Rashad take a look.  He’s concerned that there might be a Posterior Cruciate Ligament (PCL) injury, and asked me to contact my PCP.

I took pictures of my knee and abrasions, and sent them along w/ a detailed history of the injury to my PCP via the Portal.  (I LOVE having portals!)

Haven’t heard back from her, but needing to keep my leg elevated has really cramped any computer work.  So I’ll be skipping this week.

If I come across a brief/short humorous piece, I’ll share it.  But I’m going to be scarce for a few days.

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Sep 042020
 

As Trump continues to unravel at breakneck speed, he’s starting to get comfortable with his true inner-self and transitioning into the real Nazi we all know he is …

The Soup Nazi, that is.

It’s going to be a Sisyphean task to try and rank all of Trump’s Idiotic Statements, but the one just a couple of days ago has got to at least rank in the Top 100:

“And you have people coming over with bags of soup — big bags of soup.  And they lay it on the ground, and the anarchists take it and they start throwing it at our cops, at our police.  And if it hits you, that’s worse than a brick because that’s got force.  It’s the perfect size.  It’s, like, made perfect.  And when they get caught, they say, ‘No, this is just soup for my family.  And the media says, ‘This is just soup.’”

If you don’t believe me that anyone could say something that stupid, here’s the official White House transcript:

(SIDEBAR:  You know what happens after Trump eats a huge bowl of alphabet soup?

(He has a vowel movement.)

Once again, the Twitterverse stepped up and did what it does best – make a total mockery of Trump’s stupidity.

Truth be told, it shocked me to learn that Sec. of Commerce Wilbur Ross is an Anarchist …

But who knew those cute Campbell’s kids were Antifa?

But you don’t have to feel left out of the protests – you, too, can stock an arsenal of soups, just like the rest of the Antifa movement.

Why, here’s an example of budding Anarchist “souper” soldier:

But when you’re coming home from the grocery store with your larder – please drive carefully!

And be aware: Now that Trump has spilled the beans (no pun intended), QAnon, Boogaloo Bois and other right-wingers have been alerted – and are spreading the word about our secret weapons:

A word to those on a budget when stocking up: The powers that be at Antifa are cutting back on our supply allowances:

(I have to admit that I, myself, stopped carrying mace a couple years back.  I now pack a can of Progresso Cream of Mushroom.  It delivers a doozy of a wallop!)

You know what the NRA always says: “The only way to stop a bad guy with a can of soup is a good guy with a can of soup.”

(Being a strong gun control proponent, I have to admit I stewed a long time about posting that one.)

If you’re worried about Trump setting Federal forces after us, be comforted knowing the Trumpkins haven’t seen anything yet!

Believe me – it’s a fantastic weapon!  It will show them NO mercy … not even a ladle bit!

That reminds me back when restaurants were open (and I had hearing), a waitress taking my order asked me “Soup or salad?”  I told her, “No, the regular salad will be just fine.”

I want to leave you with a couple of questions to mull over:

If you boil a couple of funny bones, does it then become a laughingstock?

(Oh, come on … You gotta agree that was humerus.)

Do you know what the difference between roast beef and pea soup is?

Anyone can roast beef.

Are you pointing to the Exit for me?  Remember, I’ll be here all week.  Try the fish, and be sure to tip your waitstaff.

 

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