SoINeedAName

There’s Not a “Colonel” of Truth in What Lauren Boebert Says

 Posted by at 1:52 pm  Politics
Apr 242022
 

[EDITOR’S NOTE: Hang in there, Joanne – it closes with your promised “surprise”.]

You probably remember that during Pres. Biden’s SOTU speech, the Bobbsey Bimbos, MTG Greene and Lauren Boebert, stood up and heckled him while talking about his dead son, Beau.  (And Speaker Pelosi did tell them to “Shut Up!”)

Boebert subsequently claimed to have received a message from a military Mom praising her antics.  But in posting her Tweet, Boebert (R-Idiot-Brigade) decided to invent the entirely new military rank of “Lieutenant Corporal”.

This set the Twitterverse into action, with popular poster Ron Filipkowski setting the record straight WRT imaginary rank:

It also prompted one of America’s most recent heroes, who testified against TFG, LTC Alexander S. Vindman (USA Ret.), to respond:

And others soon jumping in to join the fun:

 

Some even went so far as to provide Boebert some military defense, with one tying it in with MTG Greene’s recent display of her total lack of knowledge between the Nazi’s Gestapo and the delicious soup Gazpacho:

But this is my favorite military rejoinder:

 

 

JOANNE’S PROMISED OPERA SURPRISE

But leave it to John Fugelsang to take it to another level with a mocking parody of the Major-General’s song “I Am the Very Model” from the Gilbert and Sullivan 1880 opera, The Pirates of Penzance.

I was fortunate enough to have seen it on Broadway back when I still had my hearing in the very early 1980s – but if you’re not familiar with it, here’s the English National Opera version:

And Fugelsang’s fantastic three-verse parody mocking Boebert:

 

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Read My Pins: Stories from a Diplomat’s Jewel Box

 Posted by at 8:14 am  Politics
Apr 022022
 

The passing of Madame Secretary Madeleine Albright on March 23, 2022, at the age of 84 prompted me to wonder how best to pay tribute to her many history-making accomplishments.

President Bill Clinton first selected her as our U.S Ambassador to the United Nations and then in 1997 elevated her to Secretary of State, thus becoming the highest-ranking woman in the history of U.S. government.

While some people are said to wear their heart on their sleeve, Madame Secretary wore it on her chest as a brooch from her astonishing collection of pins.

Sec. Albright explains: “I clearly have always liked jewelry, but it had not occurred to me that they could, in fact, become part of diplomacy.  It all began with Saddam Hussein.”

As ambassador to the United Nations in 1994, she criticized and pressured Mr. Hussein to allow ongoing weapon inspections.  This prompted the state-controlled media in Baghdad to call her “an unparalleled serpent.”

The next time she met with Iraqi diplomats she bravely wore her magnificent gold serpent brooch.  (Although she admits she does not like snakes at all.)  She thereby transformed her brooch collection into her own personal semaphore which she expertly used to convey a message or a mood.

The media constantly asked her how high-level talks were going, so she decided to transform “Read my lips” to “Read My Pins” – which became the title of one of her best-selling books.

 

Originally, I had hoped to provide a detailed translation of her collection.  But since it numbers well over 200 brooches (most of them simple, inexpensive costume jewelry), it was clearly too much.

Suffice it to say that when she’s in a good mood or conveying high hopes, Albright would wear ladybugs, flowers, suns and hot-air balloons.  On bad days she’d sport spiders and carnivorous animals.  If she felt progress was slower than she wanted she’d wear a snail or maybe a turtle pin.  And if she was dealing with crabby people, she’d don a crab.

Albright had toyed with the idea of an exhibit of her pins, but several galleries in Washington, DC turned the idea down cold.  But the Museum of Arts and Design in NYC thought it had possibilities and curated a show that has since travelled to her alma mater (Wellesley), virtually every presidential library from FDR on and highlighted at the Smithsonian.

This is how a typical exhibit is showcased:

To view a wider variety of her pins I’ve divided them into categories – but with no further details, as it was just too overwhelming.  But you’ll easily pick out the gold serpent brooch that set her on this path.

I’ll note two unique ones: One of her favorites is the clay heart made by her five-year-old daughter that she wears every Valentine’s Day.  And the other is the “Shattered Glass Ceiling” that she wore when Hillary Clinton gave her acceptance speech at the 2016 DNC.

 

I hope you enjoy a small sampling of Madeleine Albright’s eclectic collection of brooches, arranged in alphabetical order by categories.

FAUNA

 

FLORA

 

MISCELLANEOUS

 

PATRIOTIC

 

RESOURCES

For more information on Sec. Madeleine Albright’s life and brooch collection, I suggest these sites, in no particular order:

Obituaries & A Tribute by Hillary Clinton

https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/obituaries/madeline-albright-dead-/2022/03/23/e527816e-8cf5-11e3-95dd-36ff657a4dae_story.html

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/03/23/us/madeleine-albright-dead.html

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/03/25/opinion/madeleine-albright-secretary-of-state.html

Brooches

https://readmypins.state.gov/

https://madmuseum.org/exhibition/read-my-pins

https://www.instyle.com/politics-social-issues/women-politics/madeleine-albright-pin-collection-meanings

https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=113278807

https://www.oprah.com/style/madeleine-albrights-pin-collection/all

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I Had It w/ My Senator, So I Sent Hawley This Letter

 Posted by at 2:39 pm  Politics
Mar 252022
 

Watching some of the confirmation hearings for Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson (can only watch briefly, or I’ll blow a gasket), I finally had it with all the clowns, but especially my own senator – Joshua “I-Support-Traitorous-Insurrectionists” Hawley.  So this morning I faxed him this letter:

 

Friday, March 25, 2022

Mr. Josh Hawley

212 Russell Senate Office Building

Washington, D.C. 20510

 

RE: MERITLESS TO THE POINT OF DEMAGOGUERY

 

Mr. Hawley:

Your toddler-esque (bordering on infantile) behavior during the Senate hearings for Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson confirmation was aptly characterized by fellow Republican Andrew McCarthy in the “National Review” as a “smear” that was “meritless to the point of demagoguery”.

Let’s take a look at the FACTS that would lead to such a withering criticism from a fellow right-wing idealogue like McCarthy that was published in a dedicated radical right-wing magazine.

[I] Taking Jackson’s Remarks out of Context

From a Tweet by you on March 16:

“Judge Jackson has opined there may be a type of ‘less-serious child pornography offender.’ … ’A ‘less-serious’ child porn offender?”

The FACTS: She opined no such thing.  She was simply asking questions about it.

[II] Mischaracterizing the USSC’s Work

From another Tweet by you on March 16:

“As a member of the U.S. Sentencing Commission, Judge Jackson advocated for drastic change in how the law treats sex offenders by eliminating the existing mandatory minimum sentences for child porn.”

Two critical FACTS you chose to elide:

[1] The USSC is bipartisan, as no more than four members of the seven-member USSC can be from one party.

… and

[2] The recommendations you criticized were unanimously approved.

[III] Distorting Judge Jackson’s Record

In your long Twitter thread of March 16, you list a number of cases purportedly claiming that Judge Jackson did not meet sentencing recommendations.

Not only are you wrong on the FACTS, but you chose to ignore the 2021 USSC report of 2019 that only 30 percent of non-production child-porn offenders received a sentence within the guideline range.

In addition to ignoring the FACTS, you also chose to ignore what U.S. probation officers had recommended in these cases.

Additionally, you yourself have voted to confirm at least three federal judges who also engaged in the same pornography sentencing practices for which you criticize Judge Jackson.

Your entire toxic pornography obsession consisted of very weakly-presented misinformation that relied on cherry-picked elements of Judge Jackson’s record that were taken out of context, distorted and mischaracterized.  And it fell like a house of cards under the slightest of scrutiny.

Bottom line: You should be ashamed of yourself.  I know that the good citizens of Missouri are ashamed to have you as a senator for our state.

GROW UP!

 

Respectfully,

 

[NAME]

[CITY]

 

PS: After your raised-fist salute to the traitorous insurrectionist on January 6, 2021, rest assured that Lin-Manuel Miranda’s lyrics from his Tony Award-winning smash Broadway musical “Hamilton” apply to you:

“WELL, HE’S NEVER GOING TO BE PRESIDENT NOW!”

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Rep. Lauren Boebert Proves That Grammar Can Be FUN!

 Posted by at 1:13 pm  Politics
Mar 112022
 

The Equality Act bill to prevent discrimination against LGBT+ people passed the House a year ago.  And since then, Rep. Lauren Boebert has insisted on calling it the “Supremacy of Gays, Lesbians and Transvestites Act”.

She has since waged an ongoing battle against folks in the LGBT+ community who elect to select their own appropriate pronoun for themselves.  Apparently, the fact that a gay Democrat (Alex Walker) recently announced his candidacy against Boebert in Colorado (with a rather … ahhh … hmmm … unique ad) has rekindled her old battle against pronoun-selections that flared up last year when Boebert brazenly announced that her pronoun is “Patriot”.

Naturally, the Twitterverse wasn’t going to let this flagrant grade-school level grammar error pass without passing out a few corrective red check marks.  So let’s revisit some of the better grammar “lessons”.

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Battle of Techno House

 Posted by at 6:49 am  Politics
Mar 062022
 

[NOTE: My 92 y/o uncle (retired Lutheran minister) died last week, and his funeral was yesterday.  So I’ve been spending time w/ relatives.  With families now tending to be far-flung, probably like most families it’s down to reunions, weddings and funerals.  So that is why I’ve been AWOL.  But I wanted to share a lighthearted moment from the otherwise tragic Russian invasion of the Ukraine.]

Russian Soldier vs. Ukranian Door

A stealth Ukranian captured a hilarious video of a hapless Russian soldier trying to break-in to an electronics store in Kherson, no doubt to loot some new gadgets.

Fortunately, there were no casualties.  The only losses recorded were some bullets, the door’s window and the Russky soldier’s pride, as he slinks off in defeat!  It became such a popular meme that it even earned its own Wikipedia page:

The Battle of Techno House 2022

Here’s the video of the battle:

Ever the dutiful and dependable reporter, Moshe Schwartz supplies us with a scorecard summary of the Battle of Techno House.  (You have to scroll down and click the Tweet to open it in its own window to view the entire entry.)

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Mirth from the Mazars Accountants – Courtesy of George Conway

 Posted by at 9:32 am  Politics
Feb 252022
 

As you all know, last week the noose continued to tighten on Trump when his accountants – Mazars – fired him with a stinging letter.

But if you happen to have read it, you realized that it was crafted by a top-notch law firm, employing some top-notched legalese.  Our friend and outspoken Trump critic (not to mention Kellyanne’s hubby), George T. Conway, Esq. (Harvard – AB [Magna Cum Laude]; Yale – JD) stepped up to translate it for us laymen.

I’ll be using snippets from the Mazars’ letter, but you can read the entire dismissal missive here:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/context/letter-from-mazars-on-donald-trump-s-2011-2020-financial-statements/05c11ff2-b2e2-4d95-bcf4-cdffee6454bf/

From their letter:

MAZARS: Trump’s financial statements, from 2011 to 2020, “should no longer be relied upon”

CONWAY: You lied to us

 

MAZARS: “… various financial statements, as a whole, contain material discrepancies, based upon the totality of the circumstances, we believe our advice to you to no longer rely upon those financial statements is appropriate.”

CONWAY: The New York Attorney General clearly means business

 

MAZARS: “As a result, we are not able to provide any new work product to the Trump Organization.”

CONWAY: We’re not going to jail for YOU

 

MAZARS: “… we have also reached the point such that there is a non-waivable conflict of interest with the Trump Organization”

CONWAY: We’re now on Team AG

 

After this devastating blow from his accountants, TFG made an announcement on how he plans to proceed:

TRUMP:

Given the Trump Organization’s history of … hmmm … creative accounting (aka, criminal malfeasance), and because we share so many of the same values, we really would’ve liked to have used the services of Arthur Andersen.  But sadly, their scandalous handling of the Enron account drove them into bankruptcy.

Consequently, Rudy Giuliani will soon announce the selection of our new accountants.

He’ll report once again from that infamous site – the Four Seasons Total Landscaping building, conveniently located next to an adult bookstore.  And fortunately for us, it has now become the Four Seasons Accounting & Tax Service.

But still in the running is the esteemed firm of Price Waterhouse Roofing & Siding.

 

So stay tuned …

 

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