Planning a CAMPING Trip? Poof!

I trust all are aware that Republican Supply-side pseudo-Christian, Harold Camping, has predicted that today the rapture will occur, and that all Christians will disappear, caught up to heaven by God, while the rest of humanity will be left behind to endure God’s wrath.  With that in mind, I have two predictions of my own.  First, the rapture will not take place today, if ever.  Second, if I am wrong and the rapture does occur today, the Republican Supply-side pseudo-Christians will still be in their churches perverting Christianity tomorrow morning, unaware that they are the ones who have been left behind.  Here we will look at Camping’s delusional claims and their probable motivation, examine the rapture, both historically and Biblically, and end with a pair of videos certain to give you a chuckle or three.

For Camping’s claim, Lawrence O’Donnell, covered it well with New Testament Professor, Barbara Rossing.

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That’s right!  Camping has $70 million reasons to persist in this hokum.

The very notion of a rapture is new to the theological scene.  I vaguely remember a passing reference in the  third of fourth century, but cannot find it.  The concept disappeared until the 16th century.  According to Wikipedia, the term “rapture” was first used by Phillip Doddridge and John Gill, late in the 16th century.  Several authors mentioned it over the years, but it never enjoyed any significant following, until popularized by John Nelson Darby in 1827.  The point is, Christianity survived without the rapture as the doctrine of any major sect for the first 1800 plus years.  It is most useful for Republican Supply-side pseudo-Christian dogma, because sheeple can be ordered to think and do as told or suffer the great tribulation.

Biblically, rapture doctrine is a virtual minefield.  Bible references contradict each other.

For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so it is through Jesus that God will bring back with him those who have died. For this we declare to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord will by no means precede those who have died. With a shout of command, with the archangel’s call, and with the sound of God’s trumpet, the Lord himself will come down from heaven, and the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive and remain will be caught up in the clouds together with them to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever.  [1 Th 4:14-17 ISV]

Also consider:

For just as the lightning comes from the east and flashes as far as the west, so will be the coming of the Son of Man. Wherever there’s a body, there the vultures will gather." "Immediately after the suffering of those days, ‘The sun will be darkened, the moon will not give its light, the stars will fall from the sky, and the powers of heaven will be shaken loose.’ Then the sign of the Son of Man will appear in the sky, and all the tribes of the earth will mourn when they see ‘the Son of Man coming on the clouds of heaven’ with power and great glory. He will send out his angels with a loud trumpet blast, and they will gather his elect from the four winds, from one end of heaven to another." [Mt 24:27-31 ISV]

Moreover:

The Lord is not slow about his promise, as some people understand slowness, but is being patient with you. He does not want anyone to perish, but wants everyone to come to repentance. But the Day of the Lord will come like a thief. On that day the heavens will disappear with a roaring sound, the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything done on it will be exposed. Since everything will be destroyed in this way, think of the kind of holy and godly people you ought to be.  [2 Pe 3:9-11 ISV]

Note that these references describe a noisy event.  Compare it with verses also used as a primary reference to support the rapture.

For just as it was in the days of Noah, so it will be when the Son of Man comes. In those days before the flood, people were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage right up to the day when Noah went into the ark. They were unaware of what was happening until the flood came and swept all of them away. That’s how it will be when the Son of Man comes. At that time two people will be in the field. One will be taken, and the other will be left behind. Two women will be grinding grain at the mill. One will be taken, and the other will be left behind. "So keep on watching, because you don’t know on what day your Lord is coming.  [Mt. 24:37-42 ISV]

In this description the left behind continue in their daily lives after a quiet disappearance, and the world is not immediately destroyed.  Republican Supply-side pseudo-Christians try to weasel out of this contradiction by proposing two separate second comings.  It has no basis except as a desperate attempt to fit a square peg in a round hole.

So, given the limited historical and Scriptural evidence, added to Jesus’ statement that we cannot know when the end will be, I’m confident that we will take no CAMPING trips today.

Therefore let us celebrate the day with levity.  In the first a Theocon gets left behind.

In the second, Margaret Cho mocks this as only she can.

Once again, if I’m wrong, I’ll see y’all in heaven, including my friends of the atheist faith, where Teabuggery is not allowed, tomorrow. 😉