As the Manafort trial appears to be winding down I thought it would be fun to focus on some “Legal Odds & Ends”.
You’re probably aware of the fact that Cranky Judge Ellis (who appears to be putting his thumb on the scales of “justice” in favor of Paul Manafort) would not allow the prosecutor to show the jury his wildly extravagant $15,000 ostrich-leather jacket or his even more extravagant $18,500 python-leather jacket:
Having been so chastised, the prosecutors realized they had no chance of introducing Manafort’s “Jacket for Every Treason” of live Puffins:
Defiant Manafort Enters Trial Wearing Coat Made Of Live Puffins https://t.co/yPM9U6Xd3y pic.twitter.com/SrlM5B7lYb
— The Onion (@TheOnion) August 6, 2018
And although Judge Ellis has also forbidden prosecutors to even say the word “oligarch” in relation to the “financing” Manafort received from Russian billionaire oligarchs like Oleg Deripaska, it doesn’t look like Manafort’s defense has an Oleg to stand on.
In fact the only option that was left to Manafort’s legal beagles was to try and impeach Rick Gates’ credibility on the grounds that no jury could possibly trust anyone who was willing to work for a proven tax-cheating, lying crook like Manafort.
Not to be left out of the Legal Odds & Ends, Rudy Giuliani is trying to dictate the terms that Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller must follow in even questioning Twitler.
Rudy is proposing absolutely ridiculous terms like “No discussion dealing with collusion” and “No discussion dealing with obstruction of justice.”
For those of us old enough to remember Jeffrey Dahmer (he was convicted of multiple rapes ad murders of his young male victims, and freezing them for cannibalism later on) that would be like Dahmer’s lawyers telling the prosecutor: “We won’t allow any questions about the body parts in our client’s freezer.”
(Turns out Dahmer did have Ben & Jerry in his freezer. The problem was, it wasn’t ice cream.)
HOLY COW! Have you herd where even some Bovine Deputies wanted to wrangle their way into Legal Odds & Ends by corralling a suspected car thief? You might think it’s a bunch of bull – but it’s true! Have I ever steered you wrong?
I found the story udderly amoosing. It looks like there was a real beef between them and the suspect. They quickly took stock of the situation, and even though the steaks were high, they got the job done. Seems pretty clear they wanted to tan her hide!
(Have I milked this one for all it’s worth? I hope you don’t think I butchered too many of the puns. And if it’s late when you read this and it’s pasture bedtime – I wish you pleasant dreams.)
8 Responses to “Friday Fun: Legal Odds & Ends”
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Cross posted to Care2 HERE
A barrel of laughs!
One thing that struck me about the jackets is how clothing kind of is and kind of isn’t a good investment, and how that changes over time. I’m hardly a fashionista, yet I have an abiding interest in clothing, even before I worked as a theatrical costumer. My mind keeps being drawn back to the scene in A Christmas Carol where Scrooge is shown his dying self … and then the pawn shop where his servants have gone to pawn his belongings … including the shirt he died is. Can you imagine going to a pawn shop today and trying to pawn a nightshirt? You’d be laughed not just out of the shop but out of the neighborhood! Ordinary clothes today simply have no resale value.
There is, however, a secondary market in extremely high end designer clothing, and the value increases if it can be proved to have been worn by someone famous, even more if the famous person provably wore it on stage or in a movie. If you are looking to invest, keep track of auctions in Hollywood and to some extent in New York. But you can also look on the internet – and I don’t mean eBay. There’s a site called 1stdibs which specializes in high end second hand, including lots and lots of designer clothing. Just in very casual browsing, I’ve seen items priced from a few hundred dollars to well over ten thousand. So when Manafort or his family liquidates his belongings, they will have a place to recoup something from those pricey (and hideous) jackets (The python one belongs in a flying circus.)
That puffin jacket, though – no one will want that. The wearer would be sure to get covered by what Manafort is made of.
Enjoyed reading this.
Absolutely brilliant post!!
Thanks, Nameless, and Joanne for cross-posting.
LMAO!
On a serious note, would you believe Judge Ellis is a Ronnie Ray Gun appointee?
I keep hearing in Comments at different sites from lawyers who’ve appeared before Ellis, or had Federal lawsuit experience, keep saying that this is pretty standard behavior for U.S. District Judges.
On the one-hand I suppose it’s reassuring. On the other-hand, that doesn’t speak very highly of judges as a whole.
Anxious to see how he handles Manafort’s lawyers when they present their side.
He seems to be giving Manafort’s lawyers a little more rope. But, you know, there is such a thing as a ploy. The prosecution in a criminal trial (unlike the plaintiff in a civil suit) may not appeal a “not guilty” verdict, whereas the defense may appeal a “guilty” verdict, if there are grounds. Ellis is definitely NOT giving the defense any grounds for appeal if he can help it. Maybe that thought will help to reassure.
Thanks for a big Friday laugh about some legal, and criminal, stuff. Especially liked the bovine chase and all your puns, Nameless. Crème de la crème!
You are such a punacious fellow Nameless! Love it!!! Well done!!!
Love the live puffin jacket but I doubt the puffins will enjoy hanging around until Manafort gets out of prison . . . if ever except in a body bag.