Friday Fun: Mooch, We Hardly Knew Ye

Anthony Scaramucci enjoys the distinction of being the shortest-serving White House Communications director in the history of that position, which was first created during the Nixon administration.

Some contend that Jack Koehler actually had the shortest tenure, serving as Reagan’s director for only one week after being forced to resign when it was learned he had belonged to the Deutsches Jungvolk, a Nazi youth organization.  But although “The Mooch” announced his acceptance of post on 21^st – his official start date wasn’t until the 25^th.  So his six days of “service” makes his the shortest tenure.

Many folks were actually floored that Mooch would even take the position.  In fact it was so rare that it marked the …

@Regrann from @haroldpolitics – The Mooch!!!! #AnthonyScaramucci #TheMooch #TrumpTeam #MAGA – #regrann

A post shared by AGirlHasNoPresident (@agirlhasnopresident) on Jul 30, 2017 at 2:03am PDT

One of the main reasons he got the Communications Director post is he has a huge fondness for Trump, as is plain to see in how he imitates his mentor’s mannerisms:

Based on his demeanor and past history, it’d be reasonable to conclude that The Mooch actually wanted to be Trump’s Mini-Me

The Circus in an incredible GIF. One of these a week and you don't need Twitter. ht @imgur pic.twitter.com/tql0kCgQTc

— ian bremmer (@ianbremmer) July 31, 2017

Plus he himself is a braggart and very wealthy ex-hedge fund manager who made his fortune via shady deals (starting to sound like anyone else you know?) who not only had a way with … hmmm … colorful foul language like Trump, but also enjoyed a special bond with The Donald …

I'd send this to .@realdonaldtrump, but I'm #blockedbyTrump
He would HATE this.
???pic.twitter.com/K6ojW3omeN#SaturdayMorning#AMJoy

— Holly O'Reilly (@AynRandPaulRyan) July 29, 2017

So let’s do a brief review of how he got off on the wrong foot when HE called Ryan Lizza of The New Yorker and unloaded a expletive-laden rant, the likes of which will not be seen for a very long time – if ever.

For the record, he dropped the “F-Bomb” five times in his brief phone call, and used a vulgar reference to the male anatomy three times – one in reference to Bannon’s … hmmm … lack of yoga skills.  But only said “shit” once – and never made any references to female anatomy, unlike Trump.

And although Trump was initially very pleased with his vulgar phone call language, that waned when that story started to eclipse Trump, who must ALWAYS be the center of attention.  So when Gen. Kelly came on board as Chief of Staff this past Monday, Mooch was history before lunch, joining Sean “Spicey” Spicer and Reince Priebus on the street.

Uber pic.twitter.com/BHucwJScNr

— Brasilmagic (@Brasilmagic) July 31, 2017

And it reaffirms what has been a hallmark at Trump’s White House: a revolving door policy when it comes to his staff.

At least Mooch will now be able to spend more “quality time” with his newborn baby boy and family.  Oh, wait … I forgot that not only did he miss the birth of his son a week ago, but his wife Deidre has filed for divorce.

Oh well, at least he’ll have time to buckle-down and work on that juicy tell-all book article paragraph of all the White House secrets he learned during his very, very brief stay.

But it did make Mooch the poster-boy of how FUBAR the Trump White House actually is when you realize that son-in-law Jared Kushner, who was put in charge of bringing peace to the Middle East (quit that laughing), encouraged Trump to bring Scaramucci on board because he thought Mooch would be a great hire.  (That kind of character assessment skill by Trump’s crew will make you sleep better at night.)

Obviously the Mooch fiasco was just too rich of a drama at the “NO CHAOS – Trust Me” White House for the Internet to ignore.  So let’s enjoy some of the better takes on the ongoing saga of serious self-inflicted snafus.

#AnthonyScaramucci – YOU'RE FIRED!
This stuff makes Barnum & Bailey Circus look like a kindergarden play!
HIGH DRAMA in #GothamCity #c4news pic.twitter.com/lf225BfuP0

— dreamstarworld (@dreamstarworld) July 31, 2017

And to burnish Trump’s own renown for being a disloyal, self-centered SOB, just remember how he has “embellished” Mooch’s resume:

In 10 days you destroyed @Scaramucci’s hedge fund, his career, his marriage, and made him miss the birth of his child.
 
Then you fired him.

— Jules Suzdaltsev (@jules_su) July 31, 2017

But at least Mooch won’t leave empty handed:

We would like to thank Anthony Scaramucci for his participation as White House Communications Director. pic.twitter.com/9ek7aSOrp6

— McNeil (@Reflog_18) July 31, 2017

And there is some other good news for the rest of us:

If you bought milk on the day Scaramucci was hired, it is still fresh. #Scaramucci

— Throwaway Mind (@MindThrowaway) July 31, 2017

It’s understandable, given how embarrassing this whole episode has been, if Mooch wants to go incognito for a while …

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Bottom line, I think we can all agree that since Trump is incapable to demonstrate a “pivot” and actually act ”Presidential” (or even like an adult), Scaramucci’s firing from the most dysfunctional White House EVAH amounts to Mooch ado about nothing.