I trust you already know that Gov. Rev. Sam Brownback has thoroughly trashed Kansas’ economy and is desperate for funds to make up the huge budget shortfall that has turned voters against him in droves. I had no idea just how desperate he was, until I learned that the Rev. Brownback wants to make it a pleasure to help Kansas.
Kansas has a serious problem. They’ve lowered taxes so much they can’t pay their bills, and they’ve cut education funding so far that the court is forcing them to restore some of it, making that deficit even bigger.
Still, Governor Brownback does have some revenue choices he can make, and one of them is selling vibrators and other adult toys seized when an adult toy distributor failed to pay taxes in a timely fashion, measly as they are.
John Oliver wants to help. We all should help. Kansas needs us. So here’s the deal. Oliver is right. People should go to the auction website and overbid on the various sex toys there, including the "icicles," which in addition to being hand-crafted, are also hand-blown. Let your imagination carry the rest of that, or just watch the video…
Inserted from <Crooks and Liars>
Language for mature audiences only.
Personally I might have a need for such items, if I could remember how they are used, but perhaps some of you might find it pleasurable to help Kansas, except for Alabama ladies, whose Republicans outlawed such items instead of selling them. In the meantime, if Kansas residents hear buzzing sounds in the Governor’s offices and smiles on the Governor’s staff, you won’t have to ask why. Just thank Rev. Sam “Bend-over Baby” Brownback.
16 Responses to “A Pleasure to Help Kansas”
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It'd be great if early on there were a bulk order from Westoro Baptist Church.
Actually dildoes CAN teach us a few things about gun safety. No, really … they can!
There was an hilarious PSA (see the YouTube vid) encouraging parents to safely locking away their guns, with the tag line:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKHeXC7L85s
Thanks Nameless. I forgot how funny this one was too.
I love the Westboro Church idea, Nameless!
Too funny . . . the thoughts of Westboro Church buying up all the joy toys! That would likely keep Andy Borowitz busy for a day or two!
Love that one. It's been here before in an ammosexual article.
I can't stop laughing. John Oliver has gotten better since he left Jon Stewat's show.
No taxes doesn't work too well. Does it, TeaBaggers?
About as well as sitting on a large one.
What worries me is that Kansas is right next door. If this Governor causes too many Kansans to be starving and/or homeless, they might come here and vote Republican. Not that this isn't funny, because it is.
Build a boirder fence and call out the militia!! 😉
Don't think I didn't consider it!
Why do people still vote Repuglicon when the evidence is all around them that the Repugs only help the rich and steal from the poor? Seriously, I am mystified – though I do like this article!
Ignorance, apathy, stupidity and hate.
From Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sam_Brownback
I wonder how Brownback will justify the sale of sex toys in a family values state, or is it that money trumps all!
TC, you refer to Brownback as "Gov. Rev. Sam Brownback" . . . are you using 'Rev' to be sarcastic? I saw no mention of any divinity training. . . or does he just think he is God? He was mainline Protestant who became evangelical nutjob and then converted to Catholicism. Wiki lists him as a lawyer. One really has to wonder about him though.
Lynn, I call him Rev. because he has rederred to his political office as his "ministry".
This is too funny for words! I love it, a family values Republican governor is selling sex toys! Made my day.
Good!