Hi everyone,
I hope this finds everyone doing well. The paperwork has been done and Tom has been cremated. I will be picking up his remains next week. It was Tom’s wishes that I do a video memorial so that we all had a chance to say good-bye – I was waiting on the whole cremation thing before I made any plans. ( I wanted him to be present)
That being said – I am not quite sure how to go about this whole thing. I am assuming I would have to do something on zoom so that people could join in. Also with everyone in different time zones I am not sure what the best way to go about this would be. If anyone has any suggestions, please let me know. Obviously I don’t know if I can get his remains and accomplish the memorial before I leave on vacation. So I was thinking maybe plan something for when I return which would be after July 8th. Any thoughts?
If I plan something, I have written a short eulogy in his honor that I would share and then people would have a chance to share if they wanted too. Short, sweet and to the point – but I would like to honor his life and passing somehow.
I will check back later for suggestions on all this. Thank you all.
take care, Wendy
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Hi, WWWendy I’m very glad to hear things are progressing. Please dont worry about huurrying – if it isn’t done before your vacation, no problem. My Mom dies in January (decades ago) and I had just started a new job and could not get away yo place her ashes with my Dad’s grave (which was her wish) until October. The family was finw with that and very hepful and consoling.
I think you said the Neptune Society is involved? Does that mean burial (scattering ashes) at sea? I know it did for may Aunt Margaret, and much of her remaining family went on the boat which took her ashes out. I don’t think they made a video, but I did receive somephotos from one of my cousins, since I was unable to be there to go along.Back in 2015 when TC fell into a diabetic coma which ended in having his leg amputated (which happened very shortly after he had been revoked from regupar prison visits on account of his health – the prison didn’t want to be liable if anything there worsened his condition) we were able to contact a fellow volunteer, Terry Stein and be in touch with her. I still have her email (I’ll send it to you). She and another volunteer, Sandy, I believe stayed in touch with Tom, as did some ex-prisoners who are now working on new lives. I for one wou;d welcome hearing what those he worked so hard for would have to say about him at this time (and I suspect I’m not alone.)
I know a Zoom meeting can be recorded and then uploaded to YouTube – because I have seen it done. But I don’t know hownot being a emember of YouTube. That might be your best solution to the problem of time zones. I can watch ongoing Zoom meetings if invited, but I can’t participate, having neither webcam not mic. I don’t know what capabilities other have.
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make this so long. I’s a lot of speculation and much may be useless. I have thought a lot about memorials actually, but not for Tom. My husband (I think most here know) is incarcerated, and has spoken a lot about music he wants to be remembered by. I eventually succeeded in making a playlist he is satisfied with, and put it on a CD, and then did the same for myself. It’s never been discussed, but TC played in a band in the sixties. I someone were to comb through the last several months of Open Threads and list what he poasted as “Blsts from the Past,” possibly a few might leap out as being appropriate. And/or “We Shall Oversome,” since he also marched with Dr. King.
Again, sorry to take up so much space with so little content. My advice is you do what you think best (and don’t worry about timing.)
Wendy –
I would echo JD’s sentiment that there is no rush, so focus on the enjoyment of planning and taking your vacation.
TC was very active in the 7th Step Foundation for Oregon State Prison and loved meeting with “his guys”. I doubt (if they still are even active) they know TC has died.
http://www.7thstep.org/blog/?page_id=2
But I also have Terry’s email address, and feel she should be notified of the news. If no one objects, I’ll go ahead and do that.
While I look forward to enjoying your eulogy (I’ll keep a box of tissues at hand), I wonder, since some of us might be camera-shy and others may not be tech-comfortable, if it might be worth considering having people send you their thoughts in a written format. They could be shared in some manner after collected.
I think that’s be easier for you, and would probably let more folks participate.
Just some initial thoughts.
Good thoughta and well said. Thanks for notifying Terry.
Good thoughts Nameless, especially with time zones, and Terry would welcome knowing I know. I almost got to meet her when I was there.
I am like Joanne–no camera, no mic although with Zoom I can post in chat (copy and paste from prewritten in Word works for their pastes). Also with my dad’s cremains being buried more than a month after his memorial service so other family could travel to be with us.
Thanks for your thoughtful efforts Wendy.
Nameless, that makes good sense to me.
Hi Wendy,
You obviously have a lot to deal with, and I am impressed that you got to be able to have TC’s cremation wishes fulfilled.
Once again, there is no rush. I do believe that Nameless’ idea will accommodate all those in different time zones, and those with varying levels of technology handy.
I believe that Pam had welcomed TC’s idea of offering some of his cremains to whomever was interested, and he asked for those people’s addresses, but I do not know whether, or not, he shared this idea with you.
In regard to TC’s music, one piece that strikes me as fitting, besides “We Shall Overcome,” would be “Get Together,” by the Youngbloods, that he put out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_inXx-J3nU
Again, thank you for all you are doing for our Tom, dear WWWendy. Please don’t feel you need to rush things. Enjoy your holiday first.
There are many reasons why Tom’s friends may not be able to join in a “live” Zoom memorial and it would put too much pressure on you, Wendy, to organize it all. So Nameless suggestion is an excellent workaround and we may be able to help you with putting it together.
I’m still paying for a large DropBox, to share my husband’s memorial and his research with his colleagues, and I be happy to share some space there for a while to gather all the contributions and perhaps even to store and share the final memorial, though YouTube will be the better option for that.
That is a very generous offer. Whether it is accepted or not, I thank you so much for making it.
Hello Wendy. Bless you for all that you have been taking care of. I agree with others here that there isn’t any reason to worry about rushing or interrupting your current vacation plans.
I also agree with Nameless suggestion too.
Again, thank you Wendy. Truly appreciate all that you’ve done and continue doing.