Friday Fun: “THE BEST … IS YET … TO COME!!!”

I was certain the RNC Convention would prove to be a treasure trove for my “Friday Fun” post – but I wasn’t expecting THIS bumper crop!  With as much grist for mill as they sowed, it took me a lot longer to winnow the wheat from the chaff.  (Can you tell I miss my days on the family farm?)

I’d be derelict if I didn’t give top billing to Junior’s new main squeeze, Kimberly Guilfoyle.

It’s not often, but on a rare occasion I’m actually a bit relieved to have my hearing deficit – and apparently her speech SCREAMED on opening night is one of those.  The neighbor told me that he heard her entire screech – and his TV wasn’t even on!

Guilfoyle was certainly a champion Meme Generator – so let’s sample a few of the ones I enjoyed most.  To begin, here’s a compilation of folks reprising her shouted signature closing.

Having failed to keep up with the “cool kids” for decades now, I appreciated learning quite a bit about more recent culture trends than Howdy Doody, American Bandstand, or even Candid Camera.  So, for all you Power Ranger aficionados, she reminded lots of folks of Rita Repulsa.

Being more old-school, I’d go with Evita …

Or even Cruella de Vil …

But no matter which persona you see her as, I think we can all agree that this is amazingly accurate description of her performance:

Given that Junior’s contribution featured his rapid-fire delivery, bloodshot, watery, dilated eyes and sweaty skin, many people are saying he and Kimberly shared their Stash before appearing.  Having seen my share of cocaine complications among teens, I could not argue against that observation.

Based on Kim and Junior’s performances, it’s fair to conclude that Rethuglicans have lost their “War on Drugs”:

Who did this?? 😂 pic.twitter.com/GFZYGRLUxX

— MeidasTouch.com (@MeidasTouch) August 25, 2020

 

Seems to me that if SIX of the twelve “Keynote Speakers” share the same last name as Dear Leader, it’s fair to conclude the GOP is currently drifting into North Korea territory.

But there was good and understandable reason for that …

If you happen to be wondering why you never received your gold-embossed Summons … errr … Invitation to any of the events – that, too, can be easily explained:

Of course, there were other speakers, like the McCloskeys from St. Louis who had a unique qualification beside donating huge amounts of money …

And Donnie was heartbroken to learn that Jerry Falwell, Jr. turned down his invitation to speak at the convention.  But as we’ve recently learned from his pool boy, Giancarlo Granda …

Despite their promises to the contrary, the RNC Convention exposé was a four-day forum of forlorn, dark, oppressive and depressing presentations.  Rod Serling provides the reason for that:

And Charlie Brown easily provides the closing take-home lesson from their four-day debacle:

No doubt we all agree it’d be great if we could just skip ahead to the time when we have a vaccine … and Trump is in prison!