According to the old Andy Williams’ song, “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year”. Since the calendar tells we now need to “Deck the Halls”, it’s time to head to our attics, basements, closets or storage units and drag out our Christmas decorations. And for many of us, this will be done under the vigilant supervision and “assistance” of our Critters!
So I thought it would be helpful to see how some folks go about “Critter-Proofing Christmas Trees”. Let’s start with some of the easier ways of accomplishing this. (And click on the photo to view it full-size)
Apparently this guy has combined minimalism with his “Bah Humbug” and cheapskate spirit into one. He simply finds an entirely empty corner of his home, puts up a cardboard wall so high no one can see over it, and then just TELLS people it’s there to protect the “Christmas tree” behind it from his cats.
Keeping with that same minimalism and cheapskate spirit, you could get a tree so teeny, tiny that you can carry it around in a glass test tube with a cork stopper.
But why not simply put it outside?
Well, some owners are willing to compromise with their critters and meet them halfway
Or even more foolproof …
Or just surrender …
Others are willing to work out alternatives – like decorating a wall …
Or staying with wall-decorating if you happened to be “blessed” with large chunks of Astro-Turf …
Or maybe more artfully, a fancy picture frame, which I thought was quite lovely …
But if you desire something more three-dimensional, one of your tomato cages from summer gardening turned upside-down, and covered in an old piece of macramé and a green bath towel will do in a pinch. And if you want to be extravagant, a single strand of lights adds a nice touch without going overboard …
Then there are those who have a mean streak and substitute a cactus for the Christmas “tree”. It confronts the critters with that “I-Dare-You” feel to it …
But for those who really want an actual decorated Christmas tree, there are some options, too. Like putting it – rather than your critter – in a cage …
Or if you want to be fancier, place it in a handsome vitrine
And if you’re not lucky enough to have a handsome vitrine, Saran wrap will do nicely, thank you very much …
But for those who want a more open, genuine exposure, try enlisting a couple of vacuum cleaners to serve as sentries. (Not sure how it works with dogs, but I know my cat wouldn’t even THINK of entering the room!)
If you’re artistically inclined, you can create quite a handsome ceiling art work mimicking a Christmas tree out of ornaments …
But if you’re not artistically endowed – but are handy with tools in a “DIY” way – you can hang the tree upside down from the ceiling …
AND if you’re a truly accomplished Do-It-Yourselfer who’s exceptionally handy with tools … AND happen to have a very tall tree … AND it’s very flexible … AND you refuse to shorten it … AND you want to protect it from your pet FOX!!!
Well, there’s a solution for that one, too …
Here’s hoping all your ornaments stay in one piece, and you along with your critters enjoy Christmas in peace.
6 Responses to “Friday Fun: Critter-Proofing Your Christmas Trees”
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Cross posted to Care2 HERE.
Nameless, these are priceless. I never had a Christmas tree growing up because my Mom, who was widowed, worked for a non-profit (and was an exempt employee), and simply didn’t have the time. So I really don’t miss it. (And that has been handy when I did have cats! And even handier now that I have limited mobility.) Ironic, because my uncle, her brother, was a Christmas tree maniac. His would go up around Hallowe’en and stay up till Easter at least. The things hoomins do!
Very cute, Nameless.
When I was around five, I’d done something naughty on Christmas eve, and my father told me that he was cancelling Christmas. Of course I didn’t believe it. On Christmas morning, the family went down the stairs together, and as the youngest, I was leading the pack. During the night, one cat had chased the other cat up the tree, and when I turned the corner into the living room, the tree with shattered ornaments was laying on it’s side on the floor. I freaked out! He had cancelled Christmas after all. I screamed, ran back up the stairs, and flopped on my bed, sobbing inconsolably. I would not come out until they promised that the presents were still there.
I have a teeny tree that I sometimes put out. As for Aida and Helena, they stay in my room so there’s no chance of them knocking it down.
Thank you for giving me so much to giggle about, Nameless. This article is just brilliant.
When I was young, Holland was the country of Saint Nicolas (5th of December) and Christmas trees in the home a rarity, but my Jewish mother of Prussian decent started to put one up from the first Christmas after she got married (yes, we were/are quite eclectic), and she kept the tradition going right up to the last Christmas before she died, having her children decorate a small fake one in the corner of her little flat. I started to put up live trees with a clump of roots still attached in our first own house, and planting them in the garden after the celebrations were over. And although both my mother and I always had cats in the house, we’ve never had to protect the trees from them. I think getting one or two ornament detached from a branch and chasing it through the house was as as bad as it ever got.
Since moving to Oz for a month around Christmas each year I’ve stopped putting up a tree. Nobody there to enjoy it but the cats and when left alone with it, enjoy they would. In Oz I put a little 8 inch tree with flashing lights on the table at Christmas, just to annoy my husband. We’ll never get used to Christmas in summer.
My tree gets downsized (seems like) every year. Now that it’s just me and the better half, I have reduced the size of the tree to a mere 4′ lit tree.
In Christmas’ gone by, I used to put a Christmas tree in each of my kid’s rooms when they were younger.
As they got older, when both went into the military, and they went on deployment(s), the tree would stay up in the LR, until they came home. One July I put the AC on low, and in anticipation of my children’s arrival home on leave, lit their trees in their rooms, and still had their wrapped gifts under the tree. Such good, fond memories.
Now….my cat would probably saunter over and check to see if there are any meatballs on the branches, and then go take a nap. lol.
Love the pictures, Nameless. Awesome!! Thank you for post!
Thank you, Joanne for cross-posting.