I still remember how I felt in 1957, when the Soviets launches Sputnik. That made two things I knew about the Russians. They were evil, and they had just done something we (the good guys) couldn’t do. I felt scared. Life was simple then for a nine year old boy. I remember feeling comforted when Jack Kennedy promised we would beat the Russians to the moon. Today I am 62 and I feel scared again because our nation, once again is threatened. But if science gave us the answer to what we could do about the Soviets, perhaps science can give us the answer to what we can do about the Teabaggers.
Scientists have estimated the first cosmic census of planets in our galaxy and the numbers are astronomical: at least 50 billion planets in the Milky Way.
At least 500 million of those planets are in the not-too-hot, not-too-cold zone where life could exist. The numbers were extrapolated from the early results of NASA’s planet-hunting Kepler telescope.
Kepler science chief William Borucki says scientists took the number of planets they found in the first year of searching a small part of the night sky and then made an estimate on how likely stars are to have planets… [emphasis added]
Inserted from <Salon>
Now with 500 million planets from which to choose, I figure that there must be one suitable for Teabaggers to inhabit. But finding the right planet could be problematic. First, it must have no other life forms. To inflict Teabuggery on a nascent population, even of microbes, would be inhumanly cruel. Second, it must be a planet where justice is automatic. For instance, when a Teabagger shoots at something he or she perceives as “librul”, socialist, or Muslim, the bullet must circumnavigate the globe, hitting the Teabagger who fired it in the ass. Third, in the interest of kindness, it must be a place where Teabaggers can be happy. That means laws of science (Teabaggers hate “skience”!) must not operate there. Then they can call up “down”, in “out”, or whatever insaniTEA they can manage. They can pollute with no risk of climate change. They can become more free by denying rights. Even Sarah Palin would make sense there! Now this may seem like a tall order, but if we can muster the same Yankee ingenuity and strength of purpose we did in the 1960s, we can accomplish this worthy goal.
14 Responses to “What Can We Do About the Teabaggers?”
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That’ll work. Or maybe burn them at the stake?
That would be an insult to witches. 😉
Since they’re all pretty much a$$holes, I guess I’d have to vote to sending all Teabaggers to Uranus. (Well, not yours specifically, but … oh, hell – you know what I mean.)
A neat (and only slightly OT) depiction of how the International Space Station grew from 1998 to 2008 from USA Today:
http://i.usatoday.net/tech/graphics/iss_timeline/flash.htm
Dang, Nameless! bTeabugger them up Urownanus!! 😉
Thanks!
I think that’s fair. And we’ll have to find another planet for all those despots/dictators and terrorists. Let them all duke it out. We could send the teabaggers with them, ’cause really they’re all the same. 😈
Oh, and the CEO’s of all the big banks who lied to Congress and all the people who can’t drive and fuck up everyone’s commutes to/from work and back.
For those folks we don’t need planets. We have prisons.
I think the Teabaggers will soon short curcit and become yesterday’s bad news. They have nothing to offer anyone, and they certainly won’t create any jobs. The next big group to emerge in American politics, I believe, will be a genuine group made up of un and underemployed workers, workers who became outsourcing victims, and workers who haven’t seen a real pay increase in many years. These all comprise a majority – a REAL “silent majority” – of the population who have been exploited and/or ignored for years. Their presence was felt to a degree in Madison, WI, and will soon be felt in Ohio, too.
These are Americans who have had ENOUGH Republican and blue dog Democratic bullshit, and will start flexing their political muscles against those who have been holding them down.
I CAN’T WAIT!
I can’t wait either. Without Republican astro-turfing Teabaggers would just split up into the groups they came from: Birchers, KKK, Militias, Aryan groups, etc.
Tea-baggers, pea-baggers. These little shits are nothing if they aren’t the useful idiots of our own, home-grown latter-day Tories.
Vig, do you mean Tories in the 1776 sense or in the current British sense?
This times Know-Nothings – period
Too true!