Part of the problem with religion in America is that we have an extra Jesus. Of course there is an original Jesus, the real one, the one who was crucified and who taught care for the poor, healing for the sick, acceptance for the outcast, etc. However, Republican leaders don’t like that Jesus. He contradicted Republican ideology. So they invented their own fake version. Al Franken dubbed him Supply-side Jesus years ago and I stole the term without hesitation. Supply-side Jesus teaches war, hate, fear, greed and intolerance to match Republican ideology. A couple weeks back a misunderstanding with a reader, led to an email exchange. We discovered that we really have a lot in common, even though I am a Christian (not Supply-side) and he, an agnostic. He shared this list with me and it’s too good not to pass on, with his permission.
10 THINGS JESUS WOULDN’T SAY AT
A HEALTH CARE TOWN HALL MEETING
10. Yea, though I walk through the valley of death, I shall make out no living wills or advance directives.
9. I’ve got mine! To Hell with all the rest of you peons!
8. You should always serve two masters. Me and Rush Limbaugh.
7. The least among you are scum. For God’s sake pull yourselves up by your bootstraps!
6. Let he who is without sin start cheating on his wife and soliciting prostitutes.
5. I can heal you, but there will be a $500 deductible and a $50 co-pay.
4. He who yells the loudest shall inherit the earth.
3. Only a rich man can get to the kingdom of heaven. The rest of you paupers can forget it!
2. To Hell with peace. Bring your guns!
1. Take two aspirin and call me in the morning!
DEFENDING JESUS
Rob Moitoza July 3, 2006
Although the real Jesus would not say these things, they are exactly what Supply-side Jesus says.
7 Responses to “What Supply-side Jesus Says”
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Pretty funny man. Don’t know if you knew that Jesus and I are cousins? My cousin Jesus is the one used to live over in the projects by Sears, not the better known guy from Nazareth.
So are us rare Lefty believers followers of the demand-side Jesus?
And when your other cousin goes to the Raiders games, all the fans express their will to him by asking, “Jose, can you see bu the dawn’s early light?”
LOL! Good question. I call us authentic Christians.
TC LOL!
When they go together, Jose turns and thanks them for their concern. Jesus yells “My name’s not Jose!”
See? Damn Raider fans have no respect for Jesus. 😉
Beautiful and hilarious at once. Are you familiar with a website called Tea Party Jesus?
http://teapartyjesus.tumblr.com/
I have, and I love it.