The First Church of the Ellipsoid Orb has many holy days. Often unnoticed among the uninitiated are the Days of Selection of Acolytes. On these days, those deemed most worthy are selected to serve in one of the church’s thirty two orders. The First Day contained a special blessing. Here are the results:
Pick # |
NFL Team |
Player |
1 |
STL |
Bradford, Sam, QB, Oklahoma |
2 |
DET |
Suh, Ndamukong, DT, Nebraska |
3 |
TB |
McCoy, Gerald, DT, Oklahoma |
4 |
WAS |
Williams, Trent, OT, Oklahoma |
5 |
KC |
Berry, Eric, SS, Tennessee |
6 |
SEA |
Okung, Russell, OT, Oklahoma State |
7 |
CLE |
Haden, Joe, CB, Florida |
8 |
OAK |
McClain, Rolando, LB, Alabama |
9 |
BUF |
Spiller, C.J., RB, Clemson |
10 |
JAX |
Alualu, Tyson, DE, California |
11 |
SF |
Davis, Anthony, OT, Rutgers |
12 |
SD |
Mathews, Ryan, RB, Fresno State |
13 |
PHI |
Graham, Brandon, DE, Michigan |
14 |
SEA |
Thomas, Earl, SS, Texas |
15 |
NYG |
Pierre-Paul, Jason, DE, South Florida |
16 |
TEN |
Morgan, Derrick, DE, Georgia Tech |
17 |
SF |
Iupati, Mike, OG, Idaho |
18 |
PIT |
Pouncey, Maurkice, C, Florida |
19 |
ATL |
Weatherspoon, Sean, LB, Missouri |
20 |
HOU |
Jackson, Kareem, CB, Alabama |
21 |
CIN |
Gresham, Jermaine, TE, Oklahoma |
22 |
DEN |
Thomas, Demaryius, WR, Georgia Tech |
23 |
GB |
Bulaga, Bryan, OT, Iowa |
24 |
DAL |
Bryant, Dez, WR, Oklahoma State |
25 |
DEN |
Tebow, Tim, QB, Florida |
26 |
ARI |
Williams, Dan, DT, Tennessee |
27 |
NE |
McCourty, Devin, CB, Rutgers |
28 |
MIA |
Odrick, Jared, DT, Penn State |
29 |
NYJ |
Wilson, Kyle, CB, Boise State |
30 |
DET |
Best, Jahvid, RB, California |
31 |
IND |
Hughes, Jerry, DE, TCU |
32 |
NO |
Robinson, Patrick, CB, Florida State |
Those of you who know me well, know that I worship in the Denver Order. The acquisition of former Heisman Trophy winner, Tim Tebow, by my order was completely unexpected. This has left me in a state of religious ecstasy, which may last for several seasons.
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